Five kids, a dog and a blog

Things I do to stay sane . . .

2012-02-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have done a list post and they are easy and fun so . . .

Things I do to stay sane when I have SEVEN kids at home on a cold day:
Note- I am babysitting two children in addition to my five because, yeah, I am crazy like that.

1. One word - IPOD

2. Candy followed by locking everyone in the backyard till sugar spaze runs out.

3. Going to my "Happy Place" and envisioning how quiet it is somewhere else in the world like say the top of Kilimanjaro.

4. Wishing I was sitting on the moon.

5. Remembering a time when I had no children and how horrible it felt not knowing if I ever would.

6. Practice being sad imagining "empty nest syndrome" which will not happen for about 10 years.

P.S. #6 doesn't work

7. Relive the 36 hours I spent recently in Montego Bay, Jamaica at an adults-only resort. WOW

8. Locking myself in the laundry room and sitting on the dryer so they can't see my feet under the door. Practice shallow breathing so they can't hear me.

9. Fake some gastric distress so I have an excuse to stay in the bathroom for long periods of time and read.

10. Plan date night with Roy that will probably be way in to the future like say after the NEW president is sworn in. Yes. I believe!

11. Plan next Auburn Girls' trip which will also not be soon enough.

12. Bake best chocolate chip cookies in the world. Eat. Repeat.

13. Send annoying texts to my friends, especially Jen who is probably busy at work in the ICU trying to save some one's life right now.
14. Plan to clean entire house but realize I am just fooling myself.

15. Three words - Words with Friends

and the number one way I survive a cold day inside with seven child

16. Write semi-humorous blog post to entertain friends and strangers and make them happier that they are not ME!!

P.S. Kim if you happen to read this, I promise I am taking excellent care of your offspring :)

Selective Reduction - My view ( ie - aborting babies in a multiple pregnancy)

2012-02-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

I am looking out my bedroom window in to the backyard below where my five children are whooping and hollering with joy on our much loved trampoline. Its about 60 degrees on a sunny February afternoon. Spring can sometimes come early in the south, really early and then slap us with a freak March snow storm.

So I am watching them and as occasional sentimental moms sometimes do, I had a moment. I have them more frequently as they get older because I know these elementary school years are flying by. I will have exactly one year with all five children in the same school. The quads will be in the fifth grade that year and the "baby" will be in kindergarten.

I had a moment of "what if?"
I looked at each of their laughing smiling faces and call to mind each of their personal gifts and weaknesses. What I love about each of them and what drives me crazy about each of them.

I think about how nine years ago I sat in three different specialists offices hearing lectures/ recommendations on the "advantages," prudence, of selective reduction also known as abortion. Scared, hormonal, newly pregnant with, at the time, five babies (the quads were quints until one miscarried at 8 weeks,) elated to be pregnant and afraid to breath wrong lest I have yet another miscarriage. Feeling frail and vulnerable and listening to the experts telling me repeatedly that "it will increase the chances of survival for the remaining multiples" or "it really is expensive to raise that many babies" Seriously? Like I am going to weigh the pros and cons based on a cost per baby basis? Statistics of survival a slight maybe, money? Not on your or their lives.

I respect doctors for their ability to heal and make life or death choices, for researching and developing surgeries, medicines and therapies to make peoples lives better but in this instance my fragile heart had to decide along with my husband if I should allow all the babies growing inside me to live or have a shot at it anyway. I am Catholic by the way so it should have been an instant no to the doctors, but it wasn't, I pondered the consequences of each choice. I questioned the statistics.

What were my chances of carrying four healthy babies to term with out the reduction? I asked the specialist who routinely performed these procedures. The figure I was given was 75%. I thought that was a pretty darn good number considering there was a 100% chance of my living with guilt and regret if I had gone through with the procedure with or without babies in the end. At the time there was a 25% chance of miscarrying one of all of the babies because of the procedure. The reproductive specialist I was seeing informed me that, though she recommended the procedure, she did a have a quadruplet mother chose to abort two of her babies and end up losing the other two due to the procedure itself. I still think about that mom sometimes. I hope she ended up with a child to hold. I can't imagine living with that guilt.

So I actually had a flash forward during one of these selective abortion lectures. It was to a day like today, in fact let's say it actually was today - to myself at 40 years old watching my half grown beautiful, smart happy healthy annoying imperfectly perfect children and thinking which ones would it have been? Which ones would be missing had I listened to all that advice? I shudder each time it crosses my mind because I know which two would be missing and I will mostly likely never tell them. I knew this day would come as it has in various forms over the last 9 years.

All life is precious, leave it in the Father's hands. I know there was a likely possibility that my story would not have had such a fairytale ending and let's be real, we are talking imperfect children here. This is not one of those blogs that waxes poetic on the perfected perfection of my perfect children and my perfect husband and my perfect home. I have various variables and complications they have each brought to my life over the years such as filthy carpets, hand print/crayon decorated walls, huge debt because those little suckers eat A LOT, IEPs for special needs to attend, various medications to purchase for them and for me, lots of tears, lots of frustration, lots of I can't stand this for one more second moments and yet here I am staring at them lovingly out my window, my heart full to bursting because I know I made the right choice. Maybe one of them will be the President of the United States one day or maybe a brilliant scientist who discovers a cure for all infertility thus allowing a new generation of moms to be spared from making this agonizing decision, or maybe they will just turn out to be nice good-hearted people. The world needs those just as much as the former don't you think?

I know I can barely stand the thought of looking at them wondering how my life would be so different without the two the doctors wanted to "reduce." I remember when my decision to forgo the procedure cemented firmly in my heart - "I worked so hard and prayed so hard to get those guys in there and you are NOT going to take them away from me. Only God has that right." I told my perinatologist that this is what I wanted and I wanted to make sure he was going to give his all to helping me carry the pregnancy as far as possible. He assured me he would and he did a great job. I still think fondly of him today.

I made sure to take my four healthy babies back to see all the doctors who had encouraged me to reduce, when they were about 6 months old. No longer looking tiny and fragile like preemies, they were happy and alive. I wanted them to see that I made the right decision and to plant a seed of thought so that the next multiple mom they counseled would have the benefit of my evidence that sometimes the best decision wasn't what medical science determined but what a mom's heart tells her.

P.S. Feel free to view the evidence of my good decision by looking at the blog header above :)

*** I have a friend who made the decision to reduce her large pregnancy and my heart still aches for her. I respect that she did what she felt was necessary at the time and should she read this I hope she knows I do not judge her or think less of her. In fact I think she is fantastic, I just wish she had never been put in that horrible position.

Days gone by and the loss of a friend

2011-12-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

Can you spot Kristin? I am the third from the right. A short brunette. She's the tall blond.

I realize I haven't written much this year or at all since this summer. The reason is two fold. One is that I haven't been inspired with anything to share or anything funny to say. The other is that I have been writing or trying to write a new children's book. From what I understand it is a nearly impossible market to break into but I am not going to give up. It will probably just take some years of working on it and figuring out who to know in that world. Wish me luck.

Several things have happened recently that have gotten me thinking. How much time do we actually get here on Earth? We all say "Oh each day is a gift, Life is short and you never know how much time you will get." But secretly on the inside, don't we all think we'll get about 90 something years? Do you really think your life might be cut short at say 41 like my childhood friend Kristin who died this Christmas morning after a year long painful bout of cancer. The thing was, from what I know which admittedly isn't much we hadn't seen each other in at least 15 years, she was a really healthy, active person. I have been following her Caring Bridge blog for the last year and the way she talked it was like she was taking it all in stride. Not once did she mention how sorry she felt for herself or even that she was scared although I am sure she felt this way at some point.

Kristin and I, along with another friend Mike had planned to meet up last Christmas when the bad weather blew in and she had to change her travel plans. I wish things had worked out because that was the last chance I had to see her. You just never know when your time will be up. It seems that death can bring people back together as well. When my sister Becky died a few years ago, I heard from people who I hadn't talked to since high school and it was amazing. It made me feel so good to know people still cared after all those years.

Time goes by so fast, especially since graduating from high school. I remember exactly how I felt that day. How much hope I had for the future, about to embark on a whole new chapter in life. About to become an adult (in numbers maybe but it didn't actual hit my brain until I got my first teaching job and saw people looking at me like I was in fact a grown up and so I decided maybe I needed to act like one too.) I remember all the faces of my friends too but until Facebook came around to the over 30 crowd a few years ago, I had no idea where most of them ended up or who they married, how many kids they had and so on. I will say that is one of the best benefits of Facebook - being able to have some kind of connection with people you have lost touch with.

So here is my tribute to Kristin -

I remember the first day I met you and I know you remember too. It was on the school bus, in the fourth grade. I had recently moved from Atlanta and it was my first day at a public school. I saw you and thought "I want to be friends with that girl because she has curly hair." You later told me you thought "I want to be friends with that girl because she has feathered hair" Ha ha how shallow we both were and so we sat together at some point and thus a friendship was born based upon our hairstyles, how girl like. After that year we spent time at each others house with in walking distance, my back yard had a creek for exploring and a pasture we could sneak into to pet the horses or sled in during our once a year snow days. You loved to brag about how you were really from Illinois and not Georgia so you knew more about the cold and the snow than I did.

I remember that your favorite color was green and you loved cats but I hear you converted to dogs later on. We dove into the world of middle school, Judy Blume and all the drama that ensued. We talked about boys, parents, siblings and teachers. Cheerleading, high school, more boys and often getting into trouble with Becky and Kelly or other parties I won't mention. I remember your first serious boyfriend. Things started to change for all of us when those boys got in the picture didn't they? Remember sitting through all the cold soccer games because of a couple of cute guys? Cheerleading camp, college applications and eventually Auburn! I am glad we converted you! We had different experiences there and kind of lost touch but it was still comforting to have a friend from home nearby. You called me years later and I told you I was engaged. You promised to come to my wedding but then something must have come up because I didn't see you there and now I really regret that you couldn't make it because I never got to see you again. When Facebook caught on you contacted me and I was happy to hear from you. Our lives were very different but I always respected you for your independence and determination. You seem to have become quite the hit in Huntsville and I am so very happy you had so many friends there and such a full happy life. We will miss you Kristin, did you notice I spelled your name right? I also remember how mad it made you when people put an e in where the i goes :) I will pray for you and your family every Christmas and you will never be forgotten. War Eagle friend.

A Moment of Joy.

2011-07-15T05:14:00.000-07:00

Photo by David Beaulieu

I love those little things that happen, probably everyday, we fail to notice because we have our ipods on too loud or Fox News is on 24/7 or you have say 5 children who inherited a talking gene from there momma. Those little things that let you know there is something else out there. We are not alone. Life is not finite. Are they just wishful thinking or really signs?

I will keep this brief because talking about it too much seems to cheapen it. It was so simple but gave me immense joy. Mom called to talk to my kids as we had just returned from vacation. Someone handed me the phone and she had something happy to share.

My father is an avid gardener. He is a hodge-podger. A little of this, a little of that. It doesn't necessarily go together or make sense to an outsider but he grows what he likes when and where he likes it. Flowers, vegetables, herbs here and there tucked around the steep hill outside his mountain home. It keeps him busy and out of mom's hair. He is good at it. It's organized chaos to him. So when a random flower popped up in the middle of his garden that didn't match the rest of his chaos, it didn't seem a big deal but Dad likes to know the different species and why would this one single flower pop up in the middle of his intentionally planted array of other vegetation?
A friend came by and looked at the flower and told them the flower that matched no others in the garden was named - a Becky.

****Note - in case you don't know, my sister's name was Becky. She passed away at age 39, two years ago.

The R word. Still?

2011-07-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

In an age where it seems everyone can "choose" to be offended at the drop of a hat I hesitate to write this post but it needs to be said so I will. ENOUGH WITH THE R WORD ALREADY! In the last few months (and twice this week) I have encountered people who are not ready to give up that derogatory and highly offensive slang that we hurled at each other back in the 80's like it was nothing. I am talking about the word retarded or worse - retard.
This is not about being politially correct although it is justified in that sense too. Its about being humane. Its about growing up and its about not trying to cut down someone else by referring to them as a person afflicted with a mental condition or any condition. The real problem is that the victims here don't even know they are being offended. That might cause some to say, "then why does it even matter?" I will tell you why it matters.
It matters to me because when you sit next to me telling someone else that you think its funny to ask your young child "what are you, retarded?" and you don't stop to think that the mother beside you might have a special needs child or granchild then you are clueless. Why do we think its ok to call someone a retard? Why is it ok to continue to use an outdated term in an offensive manner? It broke my heart to hear a priest use the word in that manner during a homily recently and no one said a thing. Including me because I cannot bring myself to be the bad guy even when I should. So I write about it and hope to change someone's mind.

Each of these incidents happened to me recently and in one case it was a teenager, that one I get. I don't hate that child for calling my gifted son a retard. She is a child, a self absorbed clueless one is my bet but guess why she said it? Because she still hears adults say it! People have stopped saying "That is so GAY!" for the most part so why can't we quit saying something or someone is retarded? People have stopped referring to people as "oriental" (unless your over the age of 75.) So why can't we quit the R word? I can answer that - the offended party can't speak up for themselves!

The third incident happened yesterday while I was sitting next to an aquaintance whom I previously regarded with a great deal of respect and liked a lot because she's just so darn fun. She won't ever know that her casual comment caused me a great deal of grief or that my opinion of her has taken a drastic downturn.
I have a child with special needs. No she is not technically "retarded" or even "intellectually disabled" though if you observed her you would probably think so (she has autism.) However, you wouldn't know by looking at her that she is supremely bright, she taught herself to read at 3 years old, way before the rest of my typical children. She would classify as "intellectually disabled" on any test that didn't involve Mario Karts or how to program a dvr (both she is genius at.) There is so much more to people than a superficial term, a single word classification of one aspect of the whole person. When someone takes a term originally meant as a description and turns into an insult it makes you think, whose the one with the impaired thinking ability really? I say the one who calls someone retarded in the first place.

So on behalf of mothers and fathers with sweet little children who are intellectually disabled I beg of you PLEASE stop using the R word. It matters to us. It's not funny at all. Ever. Move on.

A Becky-shaped void . . .Two Years have past.

2011-04-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

There are no words - seriously what would you say anyways?

Whoa Nellie, would you look at that superb fashion sense? I mean does it get any better than the polyester and and sweat pants (with new boots you fortunately can't see.) This photo was taken in the late 70's. . . but I am guessing you figured that out already.

There are three people in the picture who are no longer with us, two obviously being my Grandma and Grandpa Betancourt and the third being my older sister in the rockin blue sweat suit. I am the much cooler one on the far right.

I miss them all but my grandparents have been gone for 10 and 20 years and lets face it, they would both be about to turn 101 if they were still here. Not that I wouldn't give anything to still have them around. Miss em and love em always. My grandpa was a bad @** in his time, especially for a short dude. My grandma was hard working, loving and kind and put up with- well- him. To give you an idea of his personality - he used to walk around singing "Oh Lord its hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. When you can't wait to look in the mirror, cause you get better lookin' each day." Yes he did.

Halloween in very cool, unGreen, plastic costumes with masks that will kill you because you can't see out of the sweaty eyeholes

But the person this post is about is my sister Becky, who passed away two years ago today. I still can't believe she is gone. I still laugh at something and think I need to call her and tell her because she had a great sense of humor and would laugh at everything. I still think of her first when I need an emergency babysitter who will work super cheap. I still want to tell her to get her smack together and have the great life she deserves. I still wish I could turn back time and tell her "Yes, I will drive 30 minutes to come and get you and take you to the post office so you can copy some insurance papers and mail them since your car was in an accident, even though I am 7 months pregnant with my fifth child and I have three kids in one preschool and one in another who will get out at noon." I said no and that was probably the last thing she asked me for help with before she died. I am not sure I will ever forgive myself even though it was a justified no. It was still a no.

It has been two years and every three weeks since she passed I go on my Blackberry and resave her last voice mail message to me. It was sent about three weeks before the end. It was nothing special and that is what is so great about it. Of course she probably wanted something because she rarely called or returned calls the last year, but it was not a sad message or dramatic, just normal. If I listen to it I can pretend for just a few moments that she is here still. Just 30 minutes away, not an eternity away. Probably at my brother's house because she liked him better than me, no really and I don't blame her. He is more fun than a barrel of monkeys and didn't lecture her as much as I did. I was full of This-is-what-you-need-to-do-to-get-your-life-in-order advice which she never listened to but acted like she did so I would shut the bleep up.

I just wanted her to be happy. But you can't force someone to be happy. And you can't fix them. Or change them. You can only love them for who they are. All crap included. She accepted mine that's for sure. I wonder if I will ever not feel that empty part of my otherwise joy-filled life. There is a Becky shaped void that will probably go unfilled forever. I am so glad to know she is with our kind and merciful Father, or close to it (sorry, but I am Catholic.)

She is free. She is free from all of it. All the horrible stuff of the world. The traffic, the noise, pollution, mental illness, drugs, things that smell bad, being overweight and ill-treated for it, anxiety, being used by people she thought were her friends, confusion, disappointment and disillusionment and most of all the self-loathing we all have at times but she lived with in huge segments of her life. Also, she hated mean people and did I mention things that smell bad? In her case that would be cheese. She hated the smell of cheese.

The Fab Four doing popcorn and Walt Disney on a Sunday night 70's style

If you were here today Beck, I would hug you and sit on the deck drinking beer while you played your guitar. But first I would lock the kids in the house because they would get on my nerves which is why I need the beer and then we would argue about politics and religion and who worked out more this week. We would laugh at some dumb old joke or something Mom said (sorry Mom, but you do say funny things!) and then finally I would let the five out to run in the yard and you would laugh and say "I gotta go now, its tough being single with no responsibilities at home." Or something like that.

Becky playing guitar - I have no idea who that random guy is?

For now I will have to be content with your message on my phone or listening to your Cds. At least I have that but it really isn't much. It isn't enough but it doesn't matter. How do you fill the place of a person who was one of kind?

The Hardest Part . . .

2011-04-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people ask me what the hardest part of having a child with Autism is . . .actually no they don't. Probably because they are worried about upsetting me.

However, everyone who has spent any amount of time around me knows that I like to talk about things-that need-to-be-talked-about-but-people-avoid. People really want to be validated and asking a parent of a child with special needs a question about their child or situation would probably touch them in that way. It would be the rare person that would be offended by a question of this nature - it shows sympathy, interest and an awareness of the other person's difficult situation. It's probably easier for me, being on this side of the fence, to do that however.

Once you are a member of a "club" you feel like you have permission to do and say things that you can't if you are not a member. For example, new mothers of multiples are always hit by a blizzard of comments and questions about their kids and they respond by either being annoyed, flattered (for awhile) or overwhelmed. Being a mom of HOM's (higher order multiples-ie triplets or more), I feel justified in asking questions and when I occasionally get an annoyed expression from "new mom of multiples," I just point out my four same-aged kids on the other side of the playground and get a look of "Holy cheese Batman! She does know what she's talking about." Ha ha I live for those moments. Smugness in any form irritates me.

From other people that is.

But back to the point at hand. The hardest part of having a daughter with Autism, for me, is two-fold. Last night I was watching an old movie called The Miracle Worker, about Helen Keller. Being blind and deaf seems insurmountable to most of us. Add onto that no technology, modern therapies or even electricity! When Helen was a child close to the age of my daughter is now - about 7, her teacher Anne Sullivan came to live with her and bring her out of the darkness so to speak. She was locked in a lonely world by failure of her senses. My daughter is locked in a similar world, though her senses work. Honestly, I sympathized with these poor parents who had no idea how to reach this child other than to spoil her. That is so hard. You think to yourself -"well she doesn't get to do what all the other kids do so I will just let her have, do, get away with X, Y, or Z" Things you wouldn't think for your typical kids. I can especially relate to the scene involving meal time where Helen is running around the table stealing peoples' food and eating like an animal. You may remember my chicken nugget story.

However, the hardest part of our situation, to me, was illustrated in the movie when Helen's teacher was trying desperately to help her make a connection between words and objects. And it finally worked - she ran to her mother and spelled "MOTHER" in her hand and hugged her. I am glad no one was watching me at that moment because I came a little unglued.

Despite her disabilities she still knew who her mother was, she loved her, she knew her mother loved her and would protect her and take care of her. I was jealous.

Yes I have five kids and the other four understand this. But one, does not. She knows I am her mother, she "loves" me in her way. She can't really show it. I have been working with her on how to give a real hug and kiss for a long time and she is starting to do it on her own finally but she would never seek me out for anything other than a need such as thirst, hunger or a visit to the restroom. It hurts. I want her to know that I think about her all the time. That I will protect her with my life. That I am the one she should run to when she is sad, lonely or hurt. If she gets hurt or is scared she just suffers alone. She can't tell me what is wrong and she would just as easily run up to a total stranger and take their hand to guide them to some object she can't reach because its too high.

Can I explain to you how hollow I feel inside when I go to my daughter's class as the room mother and she doesn't even look up when I enter the room? Or when the other kids in her class (yes, all with autism) run to their moms with excited expressions of love even when they don't express it well with words? It's my own little Hell that I have learned to accept but it still hurts, every. single. time. You can't spend all your time sad and Why me-ing though right? So it stings and you try to ignore it because other people aren't comfortable with your pain. I get that.

The other part that I find most difficult is when my other children meet milestones that I know she may take years to get to if ever. Let's be honest. She will always live with me. She will probably not go away to college or get married. It doesn't mean she wont be happy and have a good life but it's not what dreamed for her when she was born.

Maybe she realizes this, or not, I hope. But I probably won't ever know. One day soon I will write a post about all the blessings special needs kids can bring into your life. There are many. Parents and teachers of special kids know this well. But not today. Today I am not in that place. Today I am thinking about what isn't going to be and praying desperately to be proven wrong by that very smart girl who is locked in her own world.
April is Awareness Month. Maybe ask a question of a friend or acquaintance who has a child with autism.

1 in 110 kids- people. Think about that.

My First Baby

2011-03-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

An 11 week ultrasound (not mine.)

It's March. Always, it's been a weird month to me. Vaguely springlike, vaguely warm or maybe not. I do like St. Patrick's day with it's greenness and jolliness. However, I give March credit for preceeding my favorite time of the year, Spring. There is so much to love and be happy about with the approach of Spring. It's like Hope becomes visible in the form of beautiful flowers, skies and warm days rolling by on the way to Summer's freedom (at least when you are eleven.)

Right now though, I have an uneasiness I can't explain. Its been years since I have been through any kind of depression. When I was younger I always let my emotions and my circumstances dictate whether or not my life was worth living, in my mind atleast. I was always a victim to outside forces, everything was beyond my control. Now, thankfully I have the gift of perspective that grows each year. I have maturity to thank and a deeper faith to lean on. Plus, I have a great life. Really. I can't complain - too much.

So its March and I am uneasy. Then I remember. March is the month I was due with my very first baby. I was 29. It took my husband and I a year to conceive plus fertility medication. I was cautiously optimistic. We made it to 11 weeks I think. Some of the details have become fuzzy. I do however remember quite distinctly the pain and the change in who I was that took place when I lost that baby. I have since lost three more but the happy ending is that I have 5 healthy kids too. I never would have believed it if you told me I would end up with such a big family.

That first baby, it turns out, had a strange and rare condition called Tetraploidy. It had four sets of chromosomes. Learning that did bring a slight relief in knowing there wasn't a darn thing I could have done differently to help it along. It was doomed from day one. Isn't it weird? That a body would go through the trouble of responding to a pregnancy test, feeling nauseous, getting a little rounder and all along the baby never even had a heartbeat. Why did it take so long to let me know something wasn't right?

It really hurt - mentally and physically losing that baby. I think it was a boy. He would be turning 10 right about now. Maybe even today. I don't want to give the impression that I sit around trying to find things to be sad about or that I weep for those babies day in and day out because I don't. I have perspective and joy and too much darn laundry to leave much time for that indulgence. I do however, remember them often, look forward to meeting them and wonder if they know my sister and grandparents who are sharing eternity with them already. I do wonder what they would have looked like, sounded like, how they would have made me smile and cry. Of course then I remember, if they were here -

I know and love five sweet kids who would not be and my life would be so much different without them in it. That takes away the sadness. There really is a plan.

Just when everything is going wrong . . .

2011-03-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

Image from The National Post

I don't do well with writing unless I have a flash of inspiration and lately they have been sparse. Busy, sick, half crazy and irritated these describe my current situation. But I got one this morning and I would like to share it with you because it was simple and profound as inspirations should be.

Let me set up the scene for you. I have been sick for 9 days. Really sick like WTH sick. I have blown my nose till my brains came out which may explain the problems I am having. My husband was sick for a month before me and as soon as he got better - wouldn't you know it . . .

MY kids are all sick. ALL FIVE AT ONCE. On top of that my three year old may have fractured his big toe in a fall and wants to be carried everywhere. You can imagine the wreck my house is in and the state of my fridge, laundry room and mind. When I am not well, we just don't work, the house doesn't work. It's all about survival of the fittest. I have been the sickest for the past week but it looks like I am passing the torch to my oldest son today poor guy. To him the only upside is UNLIMITED POPSICLES!!!!!!

I have been trying to breath and fight the fever and chills for days. My solution is to take hot baths multiple times. I can't stand the chills. So let me get to the point. It involves my daughter who you see pictured in the dryer below:

Yeah, she does this. Its her new cool activity. I especially love that she takes the time to throw all my clean clothes out on the dirty floor, sometimes she even waits until they are actually dry before she dives in. Have you ever lost a kid in your own house? Well after I found her here she succeeded in another recent endeavor which is climbing on top of laundry baskets trying to get the attic cord and pull down the ladder. She got it open and tried to climb, it buckled and she fell and knocked her head on some doorway molding. Never a dull moment here.

So all this is going on and I still feel like something you find in my backyard near my obnoxious Golden, Maggie. I get Doodle downstairs crying (her not me, I think.) I proceed to treat the bumped head with an Elmo icepack and of course Doodle being who she is, refuses to cooperate, I stop mid-sentence when trying to explain to her that though what I am doing and what she is going through are uncomfortable and she doesn't understand it - I actually am trying to help her and it will feel better if she will cooperate! Her brain works different than most, having autism that is. She often gets herself into jams and dangers that a typical (Or neurotypical -NT) kid would not. Or maybe they would? But either way, I can't explain it to her in so many words. I just can't So I quit talking and just yelled "TRUST ME!" And then it hit me . . .

God does this to me all the time.

He just can't explain all of my pain or all of this world's pain in a way that my brain can comprehend. Now by saying that I don't mean He is not capable of doing it, I mean I am not equipped to understand every situation in life especially the more complex and painful ones like why is He letting my 92 year old Granddaddy exit this world in such a slow, painful and sad way?

Why does it seem like the world is going insane with natural disasters right now?

Why do teenagers who don't want babies seem to come by them so damn easy and others of us have to wait 3 years and endure painful tests procedures, medications and miscarriages before we get our babies?

These are big unanswerable questions. For now. But I believe there is a reason. That is my Faith. And every time I come across one of them I will have to remind myself that He is silently pleading with me.

" TRUST ME! I know what's best. It will all work out with a purpose for the good in the end. Even if I can't explain it to you right now in a way you can understand or even need to understand. I love you. Chill out."

Or something to that effect :) Spare prayers for my sick, sick family please! Have a good day and use hand sanitizer!

It's called AUTISM- Have you heard of it????

2011-01-13T15:22:00.000-08:00

OK, breathe Bonnie . . .
I am used to be being stared at for one of three reasons:

1. I have five children - not an extremely huge number of kids but definitely at least two more than most families you see in public places.

2. I have a set of 7 year old quadruplets (that means FOUR) -sorry but people ask me if they are twins all day long. More so when they were babies but now they have grown, people have less interest which is kind of good but still occasionally I am nicely interrogated on my unique family and how they came to be. I am OK with that usually because heck, we are a sight but you learn how to minimize the attention by dressing them differently, putting them in two twin strollers at the mall and walking away from each other. Also the number one rule for avoiding friendly fire is this: AVOID ALL EYE CONTACT. Especially when you are in a hurry and you just want to buy some chicken nuggets and milk and get out. I am pretty southern and try to be polite and smile at everyone so this one is hard for me, but people take it as an invitation to approach you. Sometimes I don't mind at all. I like meeting new people and most are genuinely interested and kind. Some get nosey and start asking questions about fertility and such but still. I don't mind. Unless I am in a hurry so no eye contact.

3. And the third reason I get stared at is that I am a bombshell, totally hot. So there you have it. NO I am kidding!!! The third reason we get stared at in public is that one of my quads happens to have a moderate case of autism. Not autism like the popular usage referring to quirky kids who speak very well and maybe flap there hands a bit but AUTISM like still wears diapers at night at 7years old, must have hours of therapy and see multiple specialist each week, can't tell you what's wrong when she is crying wildly at 3 am for the third night in a row, bangs her head and chews her lips till they bleed, rarely speaking kind of autism. Don't get me wrong - my daughter is AMAZING, and brilliant. She taught herself to read at 3 years old. Even my son who is in gifted didn't do that. I love her to the depths of my soul and she has made me a better person. Truly. But she does complicate things on a daily basis. Its like having a perpetual toddler in tow.

OK so now to my point-
I am used to be stared at. Its just human nature, I get that. Most people notice, register and move on: I imaging the conversation in their heads going something like this:

"Holy cow! WTH (or WTF! depending) Uh are all those hers? She must have a daycare. I wonder if she is in one of those weird religions who believe in having 20 kids? Wait they all look the same age except for that small wiggly one, they must have some twins in that mix? Why is that one acting strange? She looks the same age and has the same features. Oh I see must be multiples, must be autism, must be a crazy overworked momma!"

And they would be right for the most part and they would go back to eating their fries or picking out their toilet paper or other exciting activity.

So today after a total of one month of kids being stuck at home on the LONGEST CHRISTMAS VACATION IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY, we decided to go out in public after taking Doodle to speech therapy. We ventured into an uncrowded Chick fila at 3pm for a very late lunch. There is ice and snow all over the sidewalk and parking lots (hence the month out of school) so I am navigating with one hand on Doodle, three left on their own and my other hand on the bucking bronco that is my high-spirited two year old. We'll call him the bull. Have you ever walked a bull on a leash? No? Well that is best way to describe my little guy.

Oh I forgot to mention whenever I have to take all five anywhere along, which is exceedingly rare, I stop and say a prayer for our safety and my sanity because it is quite difficult really but doable. So I made the sign of the Cross and prayed silently before we entered the restaurant.

I must preface my story with a side note about Doodle: she has an annoying habit of stealing peoples food. People who unfortunately she doesn't know but happen to have chicken nuggets or fries and therefore she believes are all there to feed her.

So I pray, we enter and all my kids immediately turn left to go straight to the play area. I let go of her hand for less than two seconds and when I turn the corner behind her a woman grabs my attention.

"Excuse me mam, I need to tell you that your daughter just took my son's chicken nugget and walked away"

Me: "I am so so sorry, would you like me to buy you some more food?"

She was about to keep on and I realized -
She doesn't get it yet, most people figure it out in about two seconds - that my daughter has special needs, that she can't help her odd behavior, that they should just get over it because really ITS JUST A CHICKEN NUGGET! Really this poor woman has her hands full with five small children and doesn't need any grief or judgement from me because she obviously doesn't want her daughter to steal stranger's food, she isn't a bad mom who lets her kids roam fast food joints unsupervised scrounging free food because they are broke and have no morals. She just didn't catch her fast enough to prevent it and well ITS JUST A CHICKEN NUGGET!

Most people would think that but not this lady, not today.

So I stopped her and looked her in the eye and kindly said "She has autism. She does this sometimes. I am sorry I didn't catch her. Can I buy you some more food.? Her lone child, a grown teenage son, caught on quickly and gave her a look and said "Mom it's fine."

She couldn't let it go because, I don't know, maybe I looked like I needed to be taught a lesson or given some unsolicited advice from her vast experience with ONE. GROWN. TYPICAL and POLITE child (wait a minute a typical and polite teenager is an oxymoron but back to the story.)

Her - "She didn't even look me in the eye, she just took it!!"
I am thinking LADY - she doesn't look anyone IN THE EYE! That's part of what autism is!! I am her mother and she won't look me in the eye!

She couldn't let it go. Though she smiled and said "it's OK" After I explained. She had to get a jibe in.

As I turned to walk away with the bucking bull still in tow she says, "Maybe you should stay closer to her." My jaw about dropped.

Me being southern, instead of saying what I wanted to, instead of thinking of some cool sting on the spot to put her in her place for being ignorant and hurtful and judgemental and lets just say it STUPID, instead of saying something I would later regret but would be so fulfilling at the moment. I just smiled and said "yea, well it's kind of hard with five."
What I wanted to say was "@$#%$^$#%R$#^%$^# to you and the horse you road in on! You ^#^%#$%$%$&^$%!! "

I. Should. Stay. Closer. To. Her.

Now why didn't I think of that? She's %$^%$ brilliant!

I want to thank you all for sticking out this long, vent. I truly see kindness in strangers' hearts on a daily basis. Understanding, recognition, sometimes empathy and a look that says they have been there, but once in a while someone who has lived under a rock or in a utopia comes along who doesn't know what its like to care for a child with autism or small children at all. If you ever see a situation such as this unfolding before your eyes don't be afraid to step in and offer your understanding to the parent at hand. It will serve as a reminder to those who deal with these situations frequently that not everyone is an ignorant git :)

Remember - its not the end of the world - its just a chicken nugget. It's called Autism.

**If you've been in a similar situation due to having multiples or a child with special needs feel free to share your story in comments or email me. I would love to hear about it. Then we can stew together!

Bonnie

I have been so slack here!

2010-12-26T13:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I realized I haven't posted since October. The holidays just took over my life even though we kept it simple but what an awesome season it has been, I won't say was until New Years or the Epiphany maybe. By then I will be ready to go on a diet and clean my house for spring. (I am not kidding I love that stuff and only seem capable of doing it when I make New Year's resolutions :) )

So I am typing on my brand spanking new laptop!!!! I really am. You wouldn't understand how I am in heaven unless you saw the old mismatched hodge podge school surplus castoff computers I have used for the last 3 years. My kids kept popping the keys off and my husband would grumble and fix it. Doodle would eat cheeze its while she surfed for you tube Elmo videos and spill her juice on the keyboard. The screen was frequently smeared with kid prints and other unidentifiable goo. You get the picture - oh and it had a giant old school monitor that didn't match the harddrive with the broken power button, which we had to remove the face of each and every time we wanted to turn it on or off. Phew.

But yay I have a brand new, all mine, mine, mine computer!!!! I am so excited. I will hopefully be able to blog more in 2011. We had our very first White Christmas ever, it was also my Dad's first; and he is 78 - sorry Dad. The kids have 3 weeks off this year so that will require some creative time filling on my part. I hope to get some pictures on here soon.
Lastly, Roy gave me a Dance Dance Revolution game for wii that I wanted and I spent most of today trying to learn how to play the darn thing. I am actually quite decent at dancing for what that's worth but man I feel a bit spastic on that mat. I am working on getting the feet first and then will add the arms. I figure it will take a year or two! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Finding God in Autumn

2010-10-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

I am what is commonly referred to as a cradle Catholic,
(ie- since birth) and I am proud of that, though I do concede that converts have the upper hand, generally, when it comes to knowledge of the faith. The rest of us got lazy. I am always searching for God. In my children's faces, in my thoughts, in nature, and in other people's words and actions. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don't. Sometimes it seems like the harder I try and figure out what God wants from me the less I learn. He really is in the simple and the profound.

Today I am in the mountains at my parents place. It is absolutely B-E-A-U-tiful this afternoon, to quote a silly Jim Carrey character. I adore the Fall, especially up here. The kids had a Fall break so we decided to dash up here for a couple of days and I am so glad we did. I find it easy to find God in the Autumn in the mountains.

My parents blessedly allowed me to take a 20 minute walk this morning so I could get a break from the constant needs of five little people who don't sleep all that well away from home, last night being no exception. It was cool and crisp but not too chilly, the leaves are still early in their transformation but still glorious. It was the most quiet I have had in months. It was so pretty and calm that I didn't even notice the constant ringing in my ears (I have tinnitus - joy.)

As I walked up the mountain road which looked like a cover from a John Denver album, the acorns roll-crunching under my feet. I started thinking about God because its easy to do with out little people screaming for juice boxes, fruit snacks and shoes. It occurred to me that while I know logically He is there with us always whether we choose to see or acknowledge Him, I have a hard time feeling connected the way I want to. But not today, today He is right here in front of me on this road, and beside me and within me. Everyone should get the chance to feel this way. The sunlight was doing a speckled dance through the leaves that cascaded in windfalls gently to the Earth. I know this sounds very Hallmarkish and no I am not trying to win any writing awards I just want to give a true picture of what I experienced because it was so simple and profound at the same time and this is what I came up with -

God orchestrated all of this morning as he orchestrates all of nature, the universe even. Did he set up a particularly beautiful experience for me at just the moment I walked out the door? No, of course not. It's all majestic because He is the Author, the Illustrator, the Ultimate Creator or everything that has ever existed or ever will including me and the thought that brings me to my knees whenever I get too bogged down with poor little me thoughts is that in His infinite majestic act of All Creation there was minute, or a millisecond when his thoughts and attention created ME.

And He did the same for You. Pretty amazing when you think about it that way.

Finally!! Saturday in the park (actually just my house but still good.) HBOT verdict

2010-09-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Referencing catchy old seventies song there and if you are too young to get that then you may find yourself bored with my blog - so be it :) Stick around, you may find something humorous here, everyone welcome !

OK, so I actually have 5 occupied children at the moment and a husband who has gone hunting so I am in my pj's with coffee and a brain that is awake and actually got 7 STRAIGHT HOURS of SLEEP last night!!!!!!! I still can't believe it! I didn't even have to get up and you know . . .

Cool! Sorry about all the exclamation points but a woman with newly found sleep + coffee + free time is a happy women. I think there is a logarithmic correlation between caffeine and amount of exclamation points used in a post.

Back to the topic, I have a short video on the inside of the Hbot chamber to show you what it looks like and how it feels in case you are about to embark on your own similar journey or are just curious if you could stand it. We had to wait about a month to finish our set of 20 dives and did so just this past Thursday. Here it is.

That hissing sound you hear is the pressurized oxygen being pumped in to the inflatable chamber.

As I have said before, I have found I am claustrophobic, mildly so and found I could deal with it through taking Benedryl before each dive, saying the Rosary and generally begging God to get me through it. I had one final episode of panic on the second to last dive which took me by surprise but the Dr. distracted and comforted me with a few tales of other people who had similar experiences but, according to her, were much more annoying than me! (I think she was just being sweet :) )

My final verdict is a mixed one - sorry if you were hoping for a definitive, miraculous finale but that's life.

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN?

- Yes if I didn't know what I know now
-Yes if God came down and told me to
-Yes because I love my daughter SOOOO much
-Yes if there was some new development that required a different protocol which wasn't available to me such as update equipment, drugs to knock me out, etc.
-Yes if I was financially endowed (I would go for 20 more dives) not that I really want to so no don't offer to pay for it - I know you were thinking about it!
Yes because I can at least say to myself that I tried everything possible to help her and don't spend the rest of my life wondering - if I had only tried Hbot . . .

NO
- if I knew what I know now - that it was horribly uncomfortable, time consuming, expensive and only vaguely effective and in that who knows if her gains were made by the actual Hbot or by her natural development and maturation?

By gains I'd say I have seen an emotional expansion in her, real emotions, real tears that were not caused by physical pain but by feelings of guilt over hurting her baby brother when she accidentally opened the fridge door on him and knocked him to the floor or fear of something she dreaded. And of course that wonderful moment back in July when she said "I love you" to me out of no where for the first time in many years.

But that's the problem with nearly ALL autism "treatments." Most are not scientifically documented and sound due to parents' desperation for any and all possible help they can provide there child and who are therefore quite vulnerable to charlatans and quackery of all types. By the way, there is an extra hot spot in hell for people who practice this kind of demented money- making in my opinion!

I read something comforting recently about such parents (obviously I include myself in that category) : A book discussing autism therapies said that these parents, were not generally naive and unintelligent but educated and thorough in their research about the different treatments available. True. I actually do consider myself educated and well-researched, just don't ask me for help with anything to do with fixing a car, the stock-market or how to bring about world peace.

I am sorry this post is so long. I am just giddy with freedom this morning although it will soon end as I am currently allowing my kids to jump on a less than 100% safe trampoline (one side of the net is coming detached but hey, some people don't even use a net on theirs and I figure they must have really good insurance as I have recently discovered broken little-boy-arms cost TONS of money! Not as a result from the trampoline jumping of course :) It was those darn old monkey bars.

On a final note: I can't actually say I wouldn't recommend giving Hbot a try for your child - if you are wondering. I really can't. Why? Because of the mystery of autism, what causes it, why it is becoming an epidemic, why there is such a wide spectrum of the affected, and a continued and general belief in miracles. For those reasons I will not tell you NOT to try this therapy on your child. Who am I to be the final judge? That said, do not mortgage your future away to do this, NO WAY.

Peace and God's love to you all always. I need to get out of my pj's :)

Book Review : " Why God Matters "

2010-09-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my humble blog - Five Kids a Dog and a Blog. If you are new here my writings are generally about my life with 5 kids, four of them being quadruplets, a daughter with autism and my Catholic faith. Well its a big jumble O' stuff really. I like to have fun and make fun of myself and other things but I will not be making fun of this book because I really liked it.

Today I am hosting my very first book review! I love to read so when the offer came in my inbox I was intrigued. When I saw the title it was a neat moment of hmm is this a coincidence? I think not. I had seen a blurb about this book somewhere recently and was thinking I would like to read it anyway. Funny how that works out. As I am newly trying to be extra frugal, getting to read a free copy was a nice little perk.

The book? Oh I guess I should mention the title! "Why God Matters - How to recognize him in daily life," is written by a father/daughter team- Deacon Steve Lubert and his daughter Karina Fabian. I can only imagine that co-authoring a book on faith would have to bring a family closer even if it was hard work. It is published by Tribute Books and is set up in fourteen chapters. Each chapter has an essay on a particular faith issue followed by a short "Life Lesson." The chapters are alternately penned by the deacon and his daughter.

I am immediately drawn to the familiar voice in the essays, that of a friend almost and I like the Life Lessons for their digestibility. I know that is a strange choice of words for a book but it fits.

The writing style is quiet, simple and straight forward. It does not lack depth but pulls you into the next chapter by not overwhelming you. A chapter a night would be a good pace if you could hold yourself back, letting the lessons sink in and really finding how they apply to you.

The book quotes scripture as well as the Catechism of the Catholic Church, however this book appeals to a wide audience , its Christian at the core and as Christians we all believe in and love the same eternal Father, Son and Holy Spirit, no matter how we celebrate.

There are chapters on a variety of topics and the personal stories were my favorite as they added to the flavor of authenticity. I just love this book because it doesn't make the reader feel stupid or bad about themselves! Everyone has to walk their own faith walk. No one can do it for you. We all may hear the same words in the Bible, at mass or service but our life experiences are different as are the gifts bestowed on us by the Holy Spirit. We truly are individuals created by God for a divine purpose. I'ts up to us to spend our life working with God's grace to fulfill our task set before us. I think this book will be an excellent tool for anyone who is struggling with that questions Why does God matter?

It is an encouraging book, warm and real and positive. I do recommend "Why God Matters"

OK, now back to my less mature usual blog rantings - by the end of the weekend and maybe sooner I will post my final installment on my daughter's and my experiences in the Hyperbaric Oxygen chamber. Also, does anyone out there care if I try to monetize my blog with ads? I could use a little income and though this is a hobby I might as well try it see what happens. If it's too annoying I will remove it. Hey, have a great night and I will be back soon.

Hey! I'm back!

2010-09-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well I guess I took a hiatus for the end of summer/back to school season. I really miss writing here. I don't want to be one of those bloggers who has nothing to say but continues to post anyway :)

Update on Pauli : We are about to finish our last three dives in the Hyperbaric Chamber and I will give my more definitive opinion on the whole experience at that time. And answer some questions like - would I do it again? Did it really help? So if you're interested look for that at the end of next week.

I am really trying to get my act in gear right now. I have big plans to get my house cleaned and organized before Christmas (quit yawning) and I need to get on a better schedule at the gym.

I have to say, as to the rest of my kids, SECOND GRADE IS AWESOME SO FAR! I really feel that they have teachers more suited to their personalities. Teachers with patience, kindness and an appreciation for their differences and strengths. This year we split the quads up a bit more.

This is always a big questions with multiples, DO you split them up or keep them together? Thank goodness a law was passed a few years ago to give the parents the right to choose since they know best how their kids function. Thankfully, differentiation is becoming a common mindset among educators and lest you scratch your brain at that reference I will explain: In the past ALL multiples were treated like they came out of the same box. "We must split all multiples apart into separate class rooms no matter what their parents say or there will be a crack in the space-time continuum!" Now, we decide because guess what? I know that little Johnny and Jeffy get on each others nerves but little Sissy needs Johnny to help her make friends and shield her from some cruelness directed at her due to her smallness and shy personality, etc. (by the way, not my kids real names!)

Anyway, I have Doodle in her same class which is perfect for her with awesome Ms. Andrews for the third year! Her two sisters wanted to stay together and so they are while their brother wanted to try out things on his own and need to be in the FOCUS class anyway so that worked out well.

Me and the little man are to be found most days at the gym, park and or grocery store. I have joined the crazy coupon world order now and thanks to a couple of websites such as Southern Savers we are now saving quite a bit and I have stockpiled my pantry and freezer. I had no clue how much I was really spending and now I have no excuse! Look into it. If I can do the system with my crazy life then anyone can. One day I will conquer freezer cooking.

Update on book writing: I have written, yes written two children's stories and am waiting patiently on my dear busy brother to illustrate them before I send them off to prospective agents. If anyone knows anyone in the business who can offer advice please send them my way. I have a couple other ideas I am working on that have to do with my Pauli and my family in general. Have a great day!!

Our summer in a nutshell

2010-08-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

We had a great summer, even though we missed our annual beach vacation but we still had a lot of fun close to home.

Doodle eats a treat

Daddy has birthday # ??

What are you lookin' at?

Mouse has her modeling debut at Princess Camp

Is he cute wearing dessert or what?

Pretty cousin Amber and Budgie

Probably my favorite picture from the whole summer. Country kids camp was a blast.

Cousins at Fourth of July Parade

Dog Days are upon us

2010-07-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Do you know how much I hate this heat?? Not enough to move up north, but still it depresses me in a way that only the cold, dark days of winter can rival. Hmm cold sounds good right about now . . .

There is not much you can do with five kids when its hot:

Who is going to invite you over? (No, I am not fishing for invites!! Promise!)

You can't ban them to outside play like I remember my mom doing.

They eat up all the Popsicles you buy in one day.

The dog tears up any type of outdoor plasticky or blow up pool type thing you put out there and when you venture out she breathes her hot sticky breath on you then leaves a coating of saliva and dog hair adhering to your legs.

When we go to the play land at McD's inevitably Doodle will steal other people's fries and lick their kids ice cream cones and now that she isn't a cute little toddler, people don't think its so funny anymore although I am expecting you to laugh while reading this so - go ahead :)
Oh and as a Bonus she likes to set off the alarm by trying to open the door that says EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY.

The local library is smaller than my house with old VHS tapes and an old unsympathetic librarian to match. What are my tax dollars going for??

Can you tell I am grumpy? I think I know what set it off too. This morning I went to Mass and during the Sign of Peace or Kiss of Peace where everyone shakes hands and wishes, well, peace to everyone around them, a little dried up lady refused to shake my hand. Refused. Now this has happened to me before and I believe the general excuse is not germaphobia but some archaic adherence to Pre -Vatican II tradition. I understand tradition but if it makes someone feel awkward and serves absolutely no purpose in its adherence. WTH?? NO offense to seniors but it usually is the seniors who refuse to participate. Yes I know, I need to get over it. And I will. Promise. I'm just sayin', if I was someone else I think I would shake hands with me. I seem like a nice enough person??

OK so updates on Doodle: She is doing some more talking and slightly more eye contact, she asks for the HBOT at random times by pulling on my arm and taking me to the door saying "Want to boat please!" That's kinda cute.

It gets so hot in that boat that I am dreading the next dive. I have two coming up this week and maybe three the next. We still have four weeks till school starts. I am not sure my house or brain or body will survive the heat, the extra sugar and carbs (think ice cream and pizza) or the overload of laundry, dirty dishes and bored children. I still like summer but maybe just until the Fourth of July. Well I will check in next week. Until then - PEACE BE WITH YOU!!

Doodle, I do not speak Spanish . . .

2010-07-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

So I have been MIA for a bit for several reasons. My almost 16 year old cousin has been staying with us so we have had fun visiting and doing things a bit out of the norm. I will surely miss her extra help with the kids, having a nearly grown female to talk to and the way she picks on my husband. I have been given a glimpse into the world of raising a teenager but not an accurate one as our conversations are very easy and I don't feel the pressure to make sure she does anything (her mom has covered that very well already as she is turning out to be a lovely young woman - go Katie!)

I have three daughters so I needed the tutoring! How do you handle the constant attention from admirers of your children? Sheesh, I will need to observe a little more because though I am sure she has a good head on her shoulders and the neighbor boys are probably still goofy and awkward and this point, as my husband pointed out - they won't be for long and he still remembers being a teenage boy. Somehow the thought of raising my two sons into teenagers doesn't scare me nearly as much?

We have finished 11 dives with 9 to go. I am having to piece days together now as my childcare situation will be less easy with my cousin gone and a husband back to work so instead of every morning it will be 2 or 3 mornings a week. I don't want to post a bunch of nothing so I won't post on days there is nothing to report.

That said, I remind you that all the things I report are strictly my observations and not scientific evidence of anything. Who knows at this point? Days go by and I don't notice anything and the creeping doubt of Am I Wasting Our Money? sneaks in. Here's a funny update:

Doodle has taught herself Spanish.

Yes, the girl who only talks when she needs something like bed, food or drink and occasionally to go jump trampoline Please!

Now I have suspected for some time that she was doing this. It shouldn't surprise me all that much since she taught herself how to read at age three, before any of her typical siblings learned. That is a funny story for another day. She likes to watch Spanish sesame street, Plaza Sesamo. And the girl Googles and You Tubes videos in Spanish and many other languages. I have seen Calliou in French, Disney in Italian, Big Bird in multiple languages playing on my computer screen.

She switched my blogger account to Romanian for a couple months till I could figure out how to switch it back so I learned a few new words :).

But-
She started speaking Spanish to me last night.
We were fixing dinner and she was very hungry which means she hangs around in the kitchen peaking into the oven and handing me potholders. So she says "Los Carnitas!" Which I think, is some kind of meat dish, I was making a sausage and vegetable pasta sauce and baking popcorn shrimp but still - she was close and pronounced it correctly!

Last night as I tucked her in I was tickling her and hugging her and she looked up and said "Amigos! Friends." How sweet is that? I know its just a word but we are talking about a child who said nothing but EEEEEE! her first three years. Well technically she did have about 4 words before the autism kicked in full gear and lost them all. I remember a time when I thought she might never speak and that is the case with many severely affected children so last night was a tiny miracle. I really think there is some area of her brain that is savant like and I can't wait to find out what else she is capable of.

Please know that many if not most children with autism are bright kids and are NOT mentally retarded or intellectually disabled as was once thought. Some are however, and they need double efforts on the part of their parents, teachers and communities to make there lives comfortable, happy and to reach differing stages of independence and productivity.

Have a great day Amigos!

Dive 9! Punctuation marks!?":

2010-07-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Isn't she beautiful?

OK, I skipped a post because I didn't want to bore you with the nothingness I had to report. I ramble when there isn't anything exciting to say -

The dive was great today, as they have been all week. I zone out, she zones out and we just chill (except that it gets quite hot and muggy in there.)

So I was thinking about punctuation marks today, you know I never really learned how to use all those nifty marks and even though I love to write and took advanced composition in college (my papers got A's but my grammar tests got F's!) It just bores the h_ll out of me. And yes, even though I am married to a former English teacher with a Doctorate. I tend to sprinkle commas like a spice and they don't always go where they should. I like to call myself the queen of run-on sentences.

Anyway, the kind of punctuation marks I am referring to are the marks in your life timeline. The moments when something said, done or undone changed the course of your life forever, for the better or for the worse. What are yours if you care to share or just think of them to yourself? We all have them. Everyone has a life story and some are more interesting or exciting than others but I bet most people could come up with a decent short story memoir to share.

Here are a few of mine:

When I was in college, about to graduate with a degree in Zoology (how many jobs do you know that require that degree?) And I had no clue what to do next. I remember the moment I decided to become a teacher. On hind site I question the intelligence behind that choice but, no, it is the reason I have the husband, kids and life that I have today.

The moment I walked out on a cliff in Australia one night and heard God's voice in my heart, answering a youthful question I had very clearly. That has always stayed with me because it was so immediately answered.

The moment I laid on the ultrasound table and was told I had 5 babies growing inside, that is an entire post in itself so I will leave that for later.

The moment I decided my husband had my heart.

And so on . . .

My point to all this is my fervent wish that the end results of these HBOT treatments will be a huge neon punctuation mark in my daughter's life story. Or maybe not, but here's hoping.

Dive 7 - Bandwagons, Twilight and okra

2010-07-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ha, right now you are thinking - WTH with that title? Well I will get to it. Is it wrong to say WTH? I think that is less offending than WT_? Although personally I snicker when people use that in conversation (the abbreviated form that is.) Pop culture is a funny thing in general.

So people are either joiners, who make novels into bestsellers for instance, or non conformists who shun what's popular, right? I can't really place myself in one category though if someone were judging me from the outside I would probably appear to be in the former category. I mean look at what I've told you about myself so far, Harry Potter, Twilight, alternative therapies (yes ALTERNATIVE therapies are quickly becoming a bandwagon- funny oxymoron.)

Well, to start I don't have much to report about our visit to the CHAMBER today except that all I wanted to do was go to sleep (holding out on coffee before therapy!) And that is a good sign. But Pauli is getting bored and hot in the last 15 minutes which makes it hard to do so, sleep that is. If anyone out there has any suggestions on keeping a seven year old with sensory issues entertained in a small place, let me know. Please :)

One day I want to tell you all the amazing things Doodle is able to do and has learned to do on her own but today I wanted to mention something completely different because I am excited about this bandwagon, yes I have a point and general direction to this post!

Trends can be a good thing like people moving away from smoking, or a bad one like drug experimentation in the 60's and NO I wasn't around for that! Some people like my cousin and my best friend are non conformist. They aren't into Twilight (sheesh, I don't get that one at all,) and tend to think that people who do what everyone else does are yawnish. I agree for the most part. If everyone does the same thing how bland would the world be?

However, sometimes the bandwagon is an great and awesome thing like the current trend toward eating healthier, local grown, organic foods. How can that be a bad thing? It's not. So I was reading a post on something called CSA's last month -Community Supported Agriculture. Where you buy a "share" in a local farm and in return you get a portion of each week's harvest. I followed a link that was provided called localharvest.org and found a brand new CSA farm just down the road (new to CSA, the farm was very established.) How neat!, I thought. Maybe this will get my kids and myself to eat more fresh veggies. They are OK about it but when I go to the store I stand there in front of the produce and have no idea what or how much to buy and tend to waste money and things rot in my produce drawer and give off a weird caustic smell before I realize I did it again. Then it starts all over and its a vicious cycle.

This way I know I will be getting a certain amount on a certain day each week and I just have to eat it up before the next Tuesday. It's supposed to be enough for a family of four and with my kids being little, our seven will eat just this amount I bet.

Above is a picture of this weeks haul which costs $20. It is supposed to be about 20% less than grocery chain prices. Not sure, but supporting the local economy is a great thing to do in any case. There is actually a little more than is pictured. So I have boarded this trend train for the better. Now I have no idea how to cook Okra so if anyone has a clue please send it my way! Talk to you tomorrow :)

Dive 6 - Week Two

2010-07-12T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today was the easiest and quickest yet. I think I will make it now. So onto other topics. I believe I conquered that hill :)

Its hard to say scientifically if any gains she is making are from the HB chamber or from her ABA therapy ( I think its both really.) But I find myself watching her constantly to see if she is reacting differently, saying something new, express an emotion in a socially acceptable way.

As I write the most wonderful thing is occurring. She is playing a modified game of Jenga right along side her four siblings!!! She is nearly always on the computer or messing with the TV remote, hijacking my phone or up in her room alone with toys or books. She rarely engages with anyone else unless forced. I am loving this! I know it isn't scientific but she is changing somehow. Let's pray it continues.
BTW my awesome cousin Amber (almost 16) is here for two weeks and she is such a help. She totally gets Doodle and treats her just like the rest of the kids. I love it when people are comfortable around kids with differences. Amber arrived into my small neighborhood yesterday afternoon and within 20 min the teenage boys across the street were snooping around sending there cute little brothers over to check her out. My husband met them at the door and told them to tell their brothers to "Man up and come over to meet her themselves." They did and I was impressed. You have to understand A) there are NO teenage girls in my entire neighborhood but a lot of boys and B) Amber is a cutie.

Here are the pictures of Doodle and her siblings playing. Thanks for the Jenga game Katie!

Dive #5

2010-07-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe it (yeah, really I could,) when today I woke up filled with the dread of going back to the chamber. I have had a couple of decent dives now and am faced with the reality that its probably going to all be okay. So I sucked it up and we went and it was fine except hotter than normal. I kinda wish it was January? That's saying something cause I really do not like winter, even in the south.

So all week I have been telling myself. "If I live till Friday, I get to see Eclipse with my Sister in Law. Yay!" I made it and am just hours away from cinematic escape! I loved the books and the movies are pretty good too. So here comes my reward.

I have one last thing to share which struck me as timely and interesting. Don't you believe God is very subtle and succinct at times? Other times its more like a bullhorn but this is what I read on the dog-eared page that I turned to in a book I brought into the chamber during those first harrowing moments of the first dive. Keep in mind I haven't looked at this book in at least 6 months but had popped it in my bag to keep me company. It's called The Power of a Positive Mom. By Karol Ladd. Its a wonderful book, well written and nondenominational in the best way.
"Norwegian Christian author O. Hallesby referred to prayer as the "breath of the soul". He wrote:

The air which our body requires envelopes us on every hand. The air of itself seeks to enter our bodies and, for this reason, exerts pressure upon us . . . The air which our souls need also envelopes all of us at all times and on all sides. God is round about us in Christ on every hand, with His many-sided and all sufficient grace. All we need to do is to open our heart. Prayer is the breath of the soul, the organ by which we receive Christ into our parched and withered hearts . . .As air enters in quietly when we breathe, and does its normal work in our lungs, so Jesus enters quietly into our hearts and does His blessed work there."

Could there have been a more subtle bullhorn? I am humbled that he took time out of his busy universe to see my tiny speck of sand body cowering in the stupid tube and answer my prayers for comfort that first morning by directing my eyes to that very passage. Cool. Have a great weekend I will be back on Monday morning for dive #6. Go team Jacob!! I actually like them both ;)

Day 4 - went quickly

2010-07-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

Why can't our chamber be this large and open?

Or even this one, clear with someone sitting next to you saying "it's ok Bonnie" huh?

No, this is what I get.

See that little vinyl window? My face is always looking up through that at fluorescent lights and cringing. Doodle sits at the lightless end playing games. How does this not bother her with all her sensory issues? It is a mystery.

********************************************

Blessedly quick and uneventful was today's HBOT dive #4. I still had a couple of heart-racing moments but thanks to the Dr's reassurance that the chamber could not, in fact, blow up if she say forgot to turn the pressure down when it gets to 4 (atms, I guess?) Luckily this is due to a governmental regulation on the machine that requires a built in safety stop, she doesn't have to stop it, it stops automatically. I am actually thankful for a government regulation? You mean they did something useful and correct, for once? huh? Don't get me started on politics because I rarely have any clue as to what I am talking about in that arena.

Here's an interesting coincidence, or maybe not a coincidence? Doodle slept all night. All night. We are talking till a hair before 6 am. That is amazing and wonderful. For the past 6 months or so she has been waking at 1:30 or 2am and climbing in our bed. I am fine with that because she goes back to sleep. She can do that forever if she will go back to sleep. There were many months and years when she would cry, scream, play, flip every one's lights on, refuse to sleep in her own bed. And this is not a "cry it out" option kind of child. I do understand both ends of the sleep training/co-sleeping thing and I have discovered through having multiple children of the same age with different personalities, that each child requires their own route and method. NOTHING anyone says can sell me any different on that position. If you try I will smile and say, "Oh do you have quads? and two children on the spectrum? Oh you don't? Then be quiet please."

Gee do I sound snotty this morning or what? All that oxygen has gone to my head :)

Really though, parenting in general, multiples or not, special needs or not, aren't we all just feeling our way? Groping in the darkness for someone or thing or book to shed some light with the hopes that one day we will look back on our efforts and smile knowing we did the best we could? I am. Trying that is.

To end on a funny note: Guess what song I am adding to my playlist? Guess . .

WIDE OPEN SPACES yeah . . .

See y'all after dive 5 for the next installment of Some funny play on a soap title as it relates to being claustrophobic in a HBOT chamber that I can't seem to come up with right now because a small man with an excruciatingly stinky diaper is crawling on me as I type. Ciao!

HBOT dive 3 - trucking along

2010-07-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

Today was our third dive. The funniest thing happened. When we arrived Doodle ran into the room and climbed in the deflated chamber and said, "I want to Boat please!"

She has a funny way of getting her thoughts across by using nouns as verbs, ex I want to BED please! (sleepy), I want to TEA please! (thirsty) It's cute but we hardly notice it anymore. I am just thrilled when she says anything at all, especially when I can understand it :)

So her being eager made me calm again. We had one little glitch. After we were in the chamber and it was fully inflated (takes 5 - 10 min) I realized we didn't have the fan in there with us. I started to panic because the thought of building heat seemed like a cooking process in which I was the main coarse and that didn't exactly appeal to my Benedryl suppressed panic mode. So I called her cell and the Dr. came and depressurized us and gave me the fan. That irritated Pauli so I had to calm her back down and we were off. She played with my phone the whole time and I read and listened to the ipod. Certain songs make me feel better and others worse. It has to be something not to slow (time drags) but not to upbeat because if it makes me want to dance and move around I will get hot and anxious. I will work on my play list for tomorrow.

Thanks to my friend Katie K. We now have a DS to play with tomorrow so I think Doodle will love it and if not I will make use of the Harry Potter game she included :) Yes I love HP - sue me. My brother totally does not get that. Then again he still likes comic books and I totally don't get that. To each his own.

I have included a couple of pics so you can get an idea of what it feels like inside. I know this is not supposed to be all about me but until I get a grip on my own discomfort it is, then I will turn my total attention to her. Conquering your fears is exhausting and empowering at the same time. Anyone ever done that with something? I would love to hear about it, really.

HBOT dive #2 . . .a wonderful surprise

2010-07-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I survived dive 2 with the help of Benedryl. Apparently it does indeed take the edge off. I also avoided my full caffeine intake this morning as I didn't need any extra help in the heart racing department. I tried visualizing before I went in and more prayers of course. The biggest help was bringing my ipod with a few new songs. I was going to load it with the exact number of minutes of music so I would be able to track time but I had about 40 min on there and that was fine. I let Doodle borrow it and it kept her occupied a good 15 minutes. She especially likes Justin Bieber's "Baby" and I do too. I do not care who knows it. He is adorable and that makes some people want to hurl but I love it.

Doodle kept me calm. It was amazing. As long as she laid still and played with my phone or a book I felt relaxed but when she started to sing or kick from boredom I started feeling the panic return though much milder than yesterday's experience. I also found that if I covered my eyes with my arm and couldn't see the ceiling of the chamber, I was okay. Sitting still helps the heat to not build up to bad.
Speaking of the word CHAMBER. What an awful word to use in this situation!! Its like calling it a Hyperbaric COFFIN or DUNGEON. Why didn't they name it the Hyperbaric fun tube or the HB Oh boy! Sheesh, who wants to lock themselves in a CHAMBER that doesn't suck blood? Me that's who.

I haven't decided if I will post a video daily or intermittently yet. But here is the really wonderful surprise. After the dive we had to go straight to her psychologist for ABA therapy (I will fill you in on that soon.) She did so great today the Dr asked me what we did differently because Doodle was so calm and cooperative. CALM and COOPERATIVE. I don't think anyone has ever used those two words together to describe my daughter during one of her many therapy sessions. That is mini miracle #1 But not the wonderful surprise. The surprise is . . .

We were sitting in the waiting line at the pharmacy drive thru in the silence no dvd, no radio, no talking and out of the blue she says to me "I love you"
You have to understand that she hasn't said that to me in 2 or 3 YEARS and never on her own. It was always echoed. Boy, what a reward for all I'm going through. If you have never had a kid who couldn't tell you they love you you probably won't understand how it felt, or maybe you can imagine it. I don't know but it's like hearing you've won the lottery. Really. That's all for today. Stay tuned and thanks for your many prayers.

A few thoughts on Hbot dive #1

2010-07-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it. We dove. It. Was. Awful for me that is. She had no problems until it got hot and muggy about half way through. Then she was bored and hot and started to fidget. But back to the beginning. Unbelievably I had quite an experience. It started out ok. I am not panicky. I have never had claustrophobia, I ride roller coasters and am not skittish. I had a mini freak out when the Dr. zipped it shut. Its cylindrical in shape and about 7 feet long so we had room to lay down or sit up. it has to inflate and that takes 5 min and it makes your ears pop like when you drive up in the mtns. Not uncomfortable though. I had to turn around and look out the vinyl window to see the Dr and I just thought "I can't do this, I won't be able to get out.!" Terror welled up inside me as well as panic and guilt because I paid a lot for this (we are skipping our summer vacation at the beach) and I love her and want to be able to bear anything to help her, even my own discomfort. The shame of losing momentary control was immense. It was mostly in my head thankfully, I didn't scream but I did insist she unzip the chamber and let me stick my head out and think for a second. She said it happens sometimes but most always with the parents, the kids are fine. And that was true. Doodle thought it was funny. She happily read books most of the time, or laid in my lap.
I psyched myself up and told the Dr we would try again. I laid down and did the only thing I could think of that might help. I prayed. I started saying the Rosary. Now I am Catholic and that may be foreign to some of you but let me tell you - if you have ever been in a moment of intense fear and have nothing to cling to but prayer it helps to have something repetitive or meditative to say because you can't find the words that may be in your heart or head at the moment. Just get yourself to that place of peace that surpasses human understanding as fast as possible. I hate to sound dramatic. I certainly don't live my normal life like this but I want to be honest about this whole process and this is really what happened. It worked, I asked God and Virgin Mary to calm me and Pauli and to get me through it for her sake. I was able to have my phone in with me and that helped. I could call my husband, a friend or the Dr in the next room.

I started reading, time went by. It felt good and relaxing for a while. Then it began to be oppressively hot and sticky due to the pressure. I had a small fan but I directed it at her to keep her cool mostly. She got bored and agitated. I started panicking again . . . I thought "She is going to flip out and want to get out, I wonder if she is feeling what I felt at the beginning?" I had to get out. I prayed again, harder and slowly the panic subsided. I imagined a clock in my head counting down the time. Theoretically I knew we were safe and that there would be an end soon. But what did she think? Did she think we would never get out again? I can only imagine what she thought as she has never been able to tell me more than "sad" or "mad" and that has been very very recently. I hate autism. I hate it.

So I had an epiphany of sorts. I always thought people who freak out about enclosed MRI's were kinda wimpy and needed to get over it. My own mom had to have relaxing medication to get through it. The Dr. told me to take a Benedryl before coming in tomorrow. It hit me - my sister Becky, who passed last year, took a Benedryl every day of her life along with other medications like Zanax. She had panic attacks and phobias her whole life. God I had been so unsympathetic!! How could I be so harsh on her?? I am so sorry Becky. I get it now. I will never judge someone for their phobias again. I get it now. You have zero control over it and can't talk yourself out of it. Its a physical and psychological thing. I get it now. Wish I had understood then. I'm sorry . . .

HBOT Session #1

2010-07-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning Doodle and I will start her first "dive" in the hyperbaric chamber. I am learning as I go but here is what I know so far:

~It is used on brain damaged victims (such as those in car accidents)
~used on diabetics and others with non healing wounds
~used on divers who acquire the bends
~used on kids with autism who theoretically have areas of the brain not being used due to a possible lack of oxygen perhaps during birth?

~I have heard it can have fantastic results with decreasing behaviors that are undesirable.
~There is some scientific proof of positive results out there yet it is not approved by the FDA or whatever governmental body regulates such things.
~it is fairly expensive for being experimental, or maybe all experimental treatments are expensive since insurance won't touch them.
`Its probably the only thing we haven't tried to help my daughter. She is seven now and a well-respected Psychiatrist in the field once told me that when she turned 7 the therapies quit working as well. Makes me feel panicky and sad but still hopeful.

I believe in miracles, even small ones. I will still believe in them even if this turns out to be a big waste of money.

I will keep you posted if you are interested. I plan to take some short videos of me asking her social questions which we have been practicing under ABA therapy every day or two and will post anything interesting that happens. Feel free to follow our journey. I am excited and optimistic yet tempered with realism and nagging random voices from science professors in my past! Prayers are much appreciated as always.

Summer

2010-06-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of recent shots from the inlaws. I love going to visit BUT in the summer they aren't big fans of really putting the AC to good use. That and the fact that the kids come home with ticks (icky!)

Little man is quite a ham and quite a handful. He loves to ride the gator. That is probably the biggest attraction there besides Nana and Pop.

Pop is growing a nice veggie garden this summer and the kids are really getting interested in where their food comes from.

One day I plan on having my own garden but for now I need to get someone potty trained and let the dog mature a bit more. Hopefully next year!

Doodle's new activity

2010-06-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Here is Princess #3, well technically she was born 2nd so I guess she is 2. Anyway, she loves her Daddy almost as much as she loves Pizza and playing on the computer. He is her security blanket. I try not to be jealous but sometimes its hard. At least she connects with someone. That is such a blessing when you have a child with classic autism.
There is so much talk these days of autism. I hear people in the grocery store casually throw around, "oh my son has autism" I look at the son and he is smiling and talking to mom or the cashier and maybe he gives a little screech or repeats a phrase he just heard but I am thinking "really?" Umm No your child is "on the spectrum" and that is a whole other ball game. Being on the spectrum is nothing like having full on autism. Its like night and day and I don't understand why they are even considered the same thing. It makes me mad, sorry. But when people say their kid has autism so casually it really makes light of the heavy load the kids who are really afflicted (and their families) carry. If your kid can't tell you they love you, or what they want for dinner, or why they are crying at 3 am or doesn't even look at you when you come into their room at school, then you know what I mean. Otherwise your child is on the spectrum or has PDD-NOS. They do not have Autism per say. Yes I know there are different levels of severity. Something about this just really makes me angry. Sorry. But on a lighter note . . . We have a new equestrian in the family!! Doodle has started horse therapy and she LOVES it!!
See that smile? It lasts the entire 30 minutes she is riding. And she is getting better and
more independent each week.

These are some of the volunteers at the farm she rides at. They are awesome and some of the kindest hearted people I have met in our journey so far.

Musings of a Wal Mart Shopper

2010-06-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

We have no idea what it really means to be inconvenienced do we? I mean yes, sure, when my two year old decides to explode his diaper just as I am checking out - that is an inconvenience. And maybe when my Aunt from Alaska calls just as I am drifting off into a delirious and happy nap experience - inconvenient. But really, take the Wal Mart experience . . . Love it or hate it, you have convenience as a way of life now. Most people live only a short distance from one of these mega discount retailers.

Up and down the aisles you can wander and find nearly everything you want in one store. You can ponder the important questions of life - Does it make me a bad person if I don't buy the detergent that cost 2 dollars extra and sends its profits to Haiti or Katrina Victims? (no, I prefer to send my donations directly and buy the cheaper detergent) And the less important . . . Do I really want my armpits to smell like Cherries? Yes they have that "flavor."

I really don't like considering myself a Wal Mart Shopper but alas with 5 kids it is inevitable. HOWEVER, were I to win the lottery you would probably never find me on the inside of one again just to avoid the random weirdness that occasionally crosses your path there. Does that make me a bad person? Don't answer that. Now let's see I am thinking lemon might be the right choice. . .

Summer Begins

2010-06-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

I love this shot! Not bad for getting 5 kids in one place at one time. I think this may be my Christmas card for next year so if you are on my list forgive me. Do you know how hard it is to get 5 kids dressed up, hauled across town, and forced to smile by some overly eager worker at a portrait studio who you know is thinking "SMILE DA***T!!! - I hate my job!!!!" Well they don't all think that . . .that is until they've experienced my crew. The quads are seven and Budgie is two and change. Its great that they can help out with the little guy now. By this time next year he should be well out of Pull Ups, yay for the budget!

A good shot of Buddy's new waterproof green cast. He earned this about 2 minutes after the picture above was taken by falling off the monkey bars - How Cliche?

Princess #1

Princess #2.

Princess #3 will be in very next post showing off her new activity!

Gone is the mop flop

2010-05-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so my baby boy was starting to look like a mushroom. His hair that is. He wears his mop adorably shaggy and this began not because it is in style, I actually didn't realize that but was relieved to find it was because it SO took the pressure off me to get his trims regularly. His older brother has always submitted to the shears and clippers very well. We videoed Big Buddy's first cut and it was so cute. Budgie on the other hand screams as though he had nerve endings in each follicle. Sheesh! What a melodramatic event his trims are. I feel so bad for the stylist and every customer in the shop and I constantly find myself apologizing to the room. Oh well, what can I do. I am learning there is little we are in control of as parents, as far as personality goes. HE has what God gave him, and God gave him a huge personality that almost has difficulty being contained in a two year old body. :) Here are the before and afters. He is still just as cute and now you can see his giant eyes even better. What a love.

Happy Mother's Day!!

2010-05-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

I know I have been a slacker for not posting in a week but since I don't hear any complaining . . . I have some random things to comment on and motherhood in general on a later post.

Random things:
1. Am I the last person on Earth to catch on to this super annoying trend of kids collecting these glorified, animal shaped rubber bands? Silly Bands are all the rage in the south and probably elsewhere too. Some body is making a load of cash off this "duh why didn't I think of that" idea. I,
however, being smart and all ordered some quickly and then turned them into rewards they could earn one band at a time. It will eventually wear off probably this summer but until then they are motivated to earn them instead of me just buying them and going "here have this junk that everyone else has too." Earning them will make them more of a hot commodity I think!

2. I got exactly what I wanted for Mother's Day! No cooking, cleaning, poems from the kids that they made at school and a gift card to Mecca (Barnes and Noble) for some books and coffee, hopefully kid free!

3. My husband is taking a new job. He is switching from High School AP to Elementary and that means he will be getting home much earlier and not working ball games and banquets three nights a week! I am supremely thankful for the change that is going to bring about in our lives. He is the best.

4. We have new comfortable patio furniture finally to go on our newly painted deck so I have a nice place to drink coffee in the morning if I can get the dumb dog to leave me alone!

Cool stuff I am doing these days

2010-04-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Ok here is what I contend with on most days recently, what I like to call the messy screaming, Elmo loving, eating machine. I spend my days alternately giving in/putting my foot down with no apparent rhyme or reason. Let me tell you - not working so well in the tantrum containment department :) So though I do want to write a book some day in the future, you can pretty much bet it won't be on positive discipline or anything along those lines! After five kids I still don't have a clue, but I keep trying and that's all I can say. Good thing God made him extra cute.

Here is my little thrifty, green, no thinking decorate on the fly tip - buy a bunch of these Alostrisomething or anothers once every three weeks and plunk them on a high spot little fingers cant tip over. They cost 3.99 and come in lots of colors and make your kitchen look terrific. They look great for three whole weeks then start to fall off on the counter. Love em!

Here is my somewhat successful attempt at decorating my front door. Also very thrifty. We just plunked out a wad to have the house painted so I am in no place to pay 30 or 40 bucks for a fake flower wreath.

1. I took my old Christmas wreath and pulled out all the red berries and pine cones.
2. I bought two sprigs of flowers I liked that didn't have that super bright fakeness to them. Cost 7 bucks for both.
3. I used my little jewlery wire cutters to cut each stem off the bunch and then alternately tucked them in the wreath - no glue, no wires nothing. Super easy. And that's it! Not bad for 7 dollars and I can change it out for fall pretty easily.

I have been working on getting my front porch the way I wanted it for a few weeks since I finished my Spring Cleaning project. I have a very simple blog on my new years goals and organizing/cleaning the house which I actually completed, yes me, I finished it and I an really proud. It's super boring but if you want to look at it here it is. Now on to the next room and I am afraid some painting. Wish me luck!

A Good Catholic School Story

2010-04-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

A Good Catholic School Story

A post from one of my favorite bloggers. If you haven't read her yet you are in for a treat.

Cool Catholic Blog

2010-04-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

OLD SCHOOL May Crowning of the Blessed Virgin. This type event was a huge deal back in the day when my father was growing up turn of the century style. Ok I am kidding sorry Dad! back in the 1940's and 50's we'll say. I don't want my children to miss out on all those cool Catholic celebrations that are such a part of our heritage just because we can't afford ridiculously expensive Catholic schools. My Grandma who would have turned 100 yesterday sent all 4 kids all 12 years to Catholic schools and mine won't get to do that due to lack of funds and lack of schools. So I have to supplement. There are some great ideas on the web site below.

http://catholicicing.blogspot.com/

I LOVE THIS!! Thanks Aimee for pointing it out. I am hoping to get on the stick and do something with my kids for a May Crowning next month. The images are not from that web site by the way.

Modern Crowning

I just LOVE Spring so much and May is about the perfect Month to me.

After Paint job

2010-04-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

Here it is. What do you think I don't know if you can tell but we went from a light beige to a cafe au lait color. I really like it. The painters did an awesome job. I trusted them and they were very professional. They had done two of my neighbors houses before us and now have two more on the table because of our house. If you are looking for some good guys who all speak English :)and are near Walton County here's there info:

GENE FINDLAY PAINTING & RESTORATION 678) 245-2912

Before paint job

2010-04-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

Here is my house in February. One of our two snow days. Looks pretty though I prefer spring. It was time for a paint job. See where the cedar shingles are on the two gables? They looked really faded and mildewed and only one other house in our neighborhood besides us, hadn't taken care of this so we changed the color and I think it looks pretty good. I don't know how to upload two pictures from picassa yet so I will do the very next post as an after . I hope it translates well on digital media!

The Problem with Multiples

2010-04-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

I read once that multiples were late at everything (in our case I think it's late TO everything, seriously, ask my friends.) Well it is a two fold problem one they are developmentally delayed due to prematurity, low birth weight, etc and two they are delayed because they don't have enough one on one to keep up with a typical singleton birth milestones. I really get this now. My quads just turned seven. They can't ride bikes yet. They can't swim yet either. Here's the real kicker - I am a certified Water Safety Instructor and taught swim lessons to babies through adults of all developmental abilities for about 8 years. I had classes of 6 or 8 (that is of course more than the number of kids I have.)

Why you are asking?

The answer I think is time. Also the fact that until this year there was no way I could keep more than two of them sitting still at a time so I would be off chasing the others or saving them from drowning one after the other. My husband refuses to pay for swim lessons since I am perfectly qualified but I just can't do it alone. It is a strange thing that kids will listen to a random person tell them how to do something but not their own loving mom.

This is causing me such anxiety as I don't want them left behind, having to wear swimmies and life jackets while all their friends are diving in the deep end and it makes me wonder - What the flit the Octo mom is going to do? And what about the Duggards with 19 offspring (and counting?) I know there is a solution out there but for now time is the enemy that and the fact that I can't clone myself!

Mobile Bay and my Siblings

2010-04-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Here we all are. My brother, two sisters and my first nephew. I think this picture is about 10 years old judging by my nephews age. I am on the far right. The sister next to me is Becky, the one who passed away this week last spring. April was my favorite month. My quads were born in April. Its the beginning of spring, my favorite season. That's all changed, well, sortof. If you have to be reminded of a depressing event in your life, it might as well be during a beautiful season that is full of new life.

We are standing on the pier of my grandparents neighbors on Mobile bay. My grandparents have been gone for quite some time and so have the neighbors but the houses are still there and owned by cousins. I have some of the best memories of this place. There was nothing special about it besides its location. My father says the homes and lot were purchased by my grandparents back in the 1850's when he was in his 20's. . . just kidding Dad. I think it was the 1950's, for the huge some of 5000 dollars. Its a tiny house with an awesome view and needless to say it has gone up ginormously in price. It has been assaulted by many hurricanes over the year but still stands (with much, much renovation by my cousin's family who own it.)

I will never get those years back. I will never get my sister back. You just don't know when you are at a place, that its might be the last time you are there and you don't know when you look at a face that it to may never be in your sight again. Love your people, make sure to let them know you love them.

Blog Makeover in the works

2010-04-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

As you can see I have changed my title. Never really liked the old one. I just picked it out one night when I was starting out and never took the time to come up with something more relevent. I think Five Kids suits me better and anyone who knows me well knows I can't stand my darn Golden. The Dog I wanted for my entire life and finally got and is the bain of my existence now. She's actually very sweet but refuses to quit jumping on me and the kids. Yes we have tried tons of training but she is stupid. Enough of that, we still feed her and pet her and spend 500 dollars on her at the vet getting fixed , shots, cleaned, tested and she comes home hyper as ever with a case of diarhea, nice. Don't feel sorry for her, she's got it really good. She is the prettiest Golden I think I've ever seen - but the stupid thing still factors in. You won't believe me when I tell you I am actually a dog person. My heart for dogs closed up somewhere after having children and losing the pet love of my life Bailey. I got Bailey at the animal shelter in Auburn when I was in college. She was half price and the sweetest puppy ever. Mutts really are the best. She was shaped like a basset but had the color and head of a Golden. Loved her! I still miss her and its been 3 years almost to the day since she passed. Oh well, I promise to post more now and I am going to do better with photos. I have joined lots of cool blog groups and I hope to take this blog to the next level.

Should I have one more?

2010-03-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

I knew that title would get your attention ;)
NO I am not contemplating another baby, though I wish God made life a little easier sometimes and that would be an option but as it is, Five is Enough (especially when that includes quads, autism and a rambunctious as H*** two year old boy!) The title refers to a question that went through my mind and strangely enough my husband's about what . . ? three years ago. The quads were finally potty trained (well 3) and in preschool and I guess I had a moment to breathe and thought hmm this is too darn easy, bring it on!
Well, actually I really wanted to experience motherhood with a single baby and I am not alone in this. Scan any HOM chat board (Higher order multiples, ie- triplets or more,) and you will find many of them asking that very same question. I know several of triplet moms who actually did just as we did - asked and received.

I approached this question with an "okay God I am really ok with this either way. If you want us to have another baby - so be it and if not - that's fine too."
Its nice when you can give the Lord the power and truly mean it.

So many people assume that Budgie is an oops baby that I wanted to address it here. He's not. He's a little bitty miracle. Apparently I was cured of my infertility by God and science combined. Because what took two plus years and three miscarriages to get the quads here took one try to get Budgie here :) Well I say one try, I actually had a late miscarriage before him but that conception also only took one month. It was a very heartbreaking loss since I was 15 weeks and showing before we found out. We had seen the heartbeat and movement and then bam just gone all of a sudden. No reason.

But back to the happy stuff. He is a bundle of energy, joy, stress, mess and entertainment rolled up into one. He is every bit a two year old and can throw down some of the best darn tantrums you have ever seen. I find myself making comments to total strangers about him and they tend to fall into two camps as far as response goes - the "I can't stand your kid, get him to shut up please" camp and
the "He is so cute and we have all been there" camp. I favor the latter of course.

An interesting story about the quads that few know. They were actually quintuplets - for 7 or so weeks. That little baby 5, is the main reason we decided to have one more baby. I believe that every baby you conceive is a soul that exists forever. So I feel that I actually have four babies in Heaven waiting on me. My husband thinks Budgie is that baby #5 who finally made it into our arms. I am okay with that. Its beautiful either way you look at it.

Father Daughter Dance 2010

2010-02-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

Now that I understand how to use Picasa (a free photoshop type program,) you are all in for it. It is infinitely simple even for my addled brain. I love it. Here are some shots from the dance last week. They had the best time and are still talking about it. Notice the cute coordinating dresses I got on sale at The Children's Place. Wish I could have bought out the whole store! Anyway, I took the boys out for pizza which they loved. In all it was a great night. Can't wait for next year. The girls are going to have such good memories from this and I am so thankful they have a Daddy that is willing to give them that even if he has to endure a hundred girls screaming on the dance floor when Miley Cyrus's 'Party in the USA' Comes on! Thanks dad! You are the best date they will ever have and you will never break their hearts.

My Baby turned two last week!

2010-02-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

My little man turned two! I still can't believe it? Where did my baby go? Well he will always be my baby of course but seriously, where did that time go? He will hopefully be out of diapers in the next 6 months and then what? going to Kindergarten? I know we still have time but it makes me ponder a few things, one of which is NOT should I have another! Ha ha - but I do envy those of you, younger than me (I'm 38) who still have time, energy and desire to increase your family size. I loved having babies, loved being pregnant (okay I admit it) I dearly miss those four babies of mine who never made it to my arms but I know its the reason I have the ones I ended up with. I know I will see them one day in Heaven.

I am in no hurry to see my Budgie grow up and put on big boy pants, but ready or not its coming. He still wants momma most of the time and that will change soon so I savour it. He still lights up when he sees me walk into the room and takes on a full sprint towards me even if I was only gone for 5 minutes from his view. He still nurses at bedtime and first thing in the morning, yes that will end eventually but not if he has anything to say about it. I kept thinking it would fade away but he has no other vice, no pacie, no thumb, no blankie, binkie, bonkie or other such comfort so for the time being - I'm it. I am ok with that. Once he stops, I will never again get to hold him because he doesn't sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time!

Well I know we have much growing up to look forward to and I hope he doesn't mind having one of the "older moms" in his class when he starts school. He is such a sweetie wish he could stay that way but time marches on and one day he will use that one dimple on the right side of his face to look at me and smile and charm me out of the car keys.

My Jack

2010-02-12T12:31:00.000-08:00

2010-02-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

Here are my girls on a date with Daddy at the Father-Daughter Dance at school tonight. When I went shopping for these dresses I asked them if they wanted to look alike or different this year (I was sure the dressing alike thing was over) and the one in pink "mouse" said, "Yes Momma, we want to dress alike because we are sisters!" I know that won' t last much longer and they are so cute. I know this will be a favorite phono one day.

A Day Out

2010-02-02T14:05:00.001-08:00

Here is a random and decent photo from our recent trip to the mall. This is a big deal to the kids because we do it so infrequently, what with only four adult hands and like 10 or 15 kid ones? Anyway, we rode the Carousel and went to Johnny Rockets where they had a nutritious dinner of ice cream and fries. Then everyone had a stomach virus the next week! Ugg, that was awful - not blaming it on Johnny Rockets I am sure it came from the school. After this we went to visit the giant fish tank in Bass Pro Shops which was fun as always except the kids seriously wanted to know if they could climb over the top and swim with the fish. Not today anyway.

All Together

2010-02-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

Here we are in front of the giant fish tank at Bass Pro Shops. Best free aquarium there is. Beats paying 20 bucks a head and having to drive to Atlanta! Ok so maybe not quite the same but the kids don't know that yet!

Thank God in all things

2009-12-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

I am not a scripture quoter. Nothing against it. I am just terrible at memorizing things and so I tend to get them wrong a lot. But I do like this verse. Right now I am going to go look up where this came from. . . Ok, I couldn't find it? Anyone out there who knows what verse that is please shoot it my way. Allison if you are reading this, please comment the name of the author who wrote the story about the Nazi camp and the fleas?

   Well my point with this post is to share with you that I am indeed learning to be thankful to God in all things. Even the yucky ones. Not that I am, for instance happy that my daughter has Autism but her having it sure has enriched my life with true friendships, and expanded ability for compassion and empathy, humility, lifelong lessons in unconditional and sometimes unrequited love (or so it seems.) hope for the future, the capacity to see outside myself and my little world and my petty inconvieniences or discomforts.

I know so many people say how thankful they are for this and that but I want to be specific. I want to thank some people without embarrassing them so I will just use intitals or nick names. If I leave someone out, I will catch you on round two because I am sure I will think of a bunch more after I post this.
********************************************************************************
To my mom- thanks for having me, for not dropping me off at DFCS even if I deserved it, for having faith that I would mature and we would be good friends one day and for being the best person to teach me how to make other people feel comfortable. You gave me good social skills and they have come in handy through the years. You have no idea how important you are to the world. Thanks for being my cheerleader and putting up with all my drama as a teenager! I know whenever I feel like no one else understands what I am going through that you do because you've been there already.

To my dad - thanks for having the sense of humor required to survive life with firstly, 3 sisters, then with 3 daughters (and a son!) It has come in handy and has taught me to not take myself so seriously. Thanks for being a good example with your committment to the Lord even though I am not as good as you when it comes to Holy Days or abstinence from meat! Thanks for being the best, most fun grandpa!

To my brother - thanks for letting me annoy you all those years but you get what you give right? You are one of my favorite members of the male species somewhere after my husband and sons but before Hugh Grant and the Pope.

To my sister on Earth - thanks for looking up to me, Aww come on you know you do! And thanks for being my ally against the other half of our siblings when war was waged in our youth. You have a sweet heart and I know God has good things in store for you!

To my sister in Heaven - thanks for sharing your life with me and for leaving me all the reminders of you through the years that now as I find them, seem so poignant. Such as the inscriptions you wrote to my children in the books you gave them as gifts or the song you wrote just for them which sounds as though you knew years ago you wouldn't be here to watch them grow up but wanted them to know you loved them anyway. You were the most fun and I hope I had something to offer you in return.

To my sister in law - I don't think I could have hand picked a better spouse for my goofy brother if I was given the task.  Thanks for reigning him in, thanks for being a best friend and for loving my kids. I always wondered if he would marry someone I couldn't stand and luckily that wasn't the case! One day we will get the chance to actually do fun stuff without little people around!

To my Granddaddy - you are my favorite 91 year old man in the world and since you wont read this I will just say that you have given me hope that I have inherited your families longevity gene and I can't wait to celebrate your first Century birthday! Oh and thanks for serving our country so long ago.

To my Mother in Law- I couldn't have survived these last 7 years without you and as it turns out God knew what he was doing when he only gave you one boy to raise. He knew you need to conserve your energy for quadruplet grandchildren that would be in your future. Thanks for continuing to be such a tremendous help even after we surprised you with baby number five which you thought I was certifiable for having but it has turned out to be a good thing ehh? Thanks for giving me a husband who loves and respects me. You're the best MIL in the world though I do hope to never have another one he he!

To my Aunt D. thanks for becoming an extra grandma to my kids and thanks for taking all us crazy kids on those summer trips. How did you stand having so many preteens together at one time?

To my Aunt E. You are one of the sweetest women in the world. Thanks for being such a good listener and such a good example of an unselfish life of service to your loved ones. So glad we have become close.

To my Aunt J thanks for making me feel special during my childhood and teen years when I was having Middle Child Syndrome. I always looked forward to spending time with you at the beach or at your house during our trips to Mobile. I haven't forgotten.  Also, thanks for having 5 kids so I am not the only one with that number in the family!

To my Aunt M. Thanks having more kids than me, and thanks for giving me a Maureen to play with! You are a sweet soul with infinite patience and more wisdom than you are given credit for!

To my cousin Mo - thanks for everything except being skinnier than I can ever hope to be. Thanks for being fun and on my side. The Bay will always make me think of you and Grandpa the most.

To my kids - you are my whole world. Thanks for showing up even if we had to wait years for you to get here! There are no words to describe what you are to me so I won't try. I will save that for another day and just for you.

Ok so I need to end this as it sounds like I am planning on taking leave but really I am not, I just feel strongly that people need to be told what you love about them while you're here! Next post will be on friends.
Maybe you can tell someone how you really feel this Christmas season? You won't be sorry and neither will they, unless of course you plan on telling them off that is.

Here we go again- Happy Halloween 2009

2009-11-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

So last night we went out in the rain and cold and tromped through the wet leaves on a candy hunt with our five kiddos. What is up with the tootsie roll this year? I must have 3000 of those darn things in my house. They outnumber the other confections 3 to 1. I mean nothing against the chocolate chewiness, but they aren't REALLY chocolate. They do in a pinch but I grow tired of their presence and my jaw is sore from eating them anyway. Oh where are my elastic waist pants? Wait I am not 60 years old and therefore do not purchase my clothes from the Blair Catalogue yet, those lucky seniors. Do they realize how good they have it- no longer having to fulfill society's expectations of fashion? I being the stay at home mom fashionista must at least wear jeans. Oh well, such is life. Wait I think I started this post with another purpose. Oh yes my cute little darlings. Here are some shots of the costumes which have absolutely nothing to do with each other or anything else I have said thus far. There is a connection to the candy I suppose. Aren't they cute? Dad was a trooper as well. I used to dress them in some kind of theme like 3 little pigs and a wolf or different colored M & Ms but no longer it’s too hard and I am too tired to be that creative. I will try to find old shots and put them all together (but you do realize that will never happen I hope.) Have a great November and I will try to post a bit more this month.

Bringchange2mind

2009-10-21T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today I was on the treadmill at the gym when I saw a spot on the view featuring Glenn Close and her sister Jesse. Her sister has Bipolar disorder. They are starting a website which brings mental illness in families "out" so to speak. One in 6 adults has a mental illness so chances are someone in every family is included. Well the commercial they showed made me cry and I had to run to the restroom and hide in the shower until I quit. Why do some things touch that sore spot so quickly and sharply when months can go by with out the pain surfacing in such a raw way? I don't know. It felt good in a weird way. I know people want me to be over my sister's death and they probably think that I am but I'm not. I can hold it together pretty well and even talk about her without crying but not a day goes by when I don't ask the what if questions. I will never have those answers.
Anyway, here is the spot and I think its going to be a great thing if it catches on -

People of Walmart

2009-09-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

If you need an instant laugh, hit this link and bookmark it for future laughs-

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Now you can see that Walmarts all over the country contain the bizarreness you thought you could only find at your local store. Nope, they're everywhere. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Finding God in 5 Steps (I recommend this blog to anyone struggling with the existence of God)

2009-09-10T19:32:00.001-07:00

Finding God in 5 Steps

Shared via AddThis

I think we all go through this from time to time but some people really struggle with this. I found this blog today and she is a former atheist which I find fascinating being a cradle Catholic. Anyway, it is awesome! The author will be publishing a book on this subject next year!

Birthday of the Blessed Virgin Mary

2009-09-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today is the birthday of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I wanted to take just a minute to ask all my friends- Protestant and Catholic- to take a minute to honor the enormity of her task and the blessing she bestowed on us through her fiat, her yes to the Heavenly Father. That said, I want to give a quick note about the place of honor Mary holds in my Catholic Faith.

We do not worship Mary, nor do we see her as God-like.
We honor her as Christ did, as his mother, Can you really imagine him NOT honoring his own mother whom I am sure he was 100% obedient to? (Note: see Ten Commandments.)Therefore, being the KING of Kings and all, is his mother not deserving of a place of honor? If he is our King, it just makes sense that we would honor, love and adore her as he did. That's all I'm sayin'.

With the exception of Christ, she is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT HUMAN BEING TO EVER WALK THE FACE OF THE EARTH. So wish her a Happy Birthday today and thank her for her gift of saying yes to God when he called upon her 2000 years ago, no matter what your denomination. At the very least, thank God for her.

She has been there for me, through out my life in countless ways and I couldn't even begin the explain this to you if you asked me, I just know.

If you are interested in learning more about what the Catholic Church believes concerning Mary, click here. I believe this to be a fairly unbiased and reputable site in the limited time I explored it. There are just sooooo many misconceptions out there when it comes to Mary and I would love to be able to clear them up for even one person. Ok, that's all I am saying tonight. Have a great day!

Awesome Photographer

2009-09-05T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here is the new website for a wonderful photographer of families and children. She has worked with my quads and baby before and she is a very dear friend. Check it out.
http://phillipsonphotography.com/

You're awesome Lisa!

First Article Published

2009-09-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, here it is. Hope you enjoy. Hope I didn't offend anyone!

http://blissfullydomestic.com/multiple-bliss/what-its-like-to-be-methe-story-of-a-quad-mom-part-one/

I am working on part two now, well, ok technically I haven't started but how would you know?

Blissfully Domestic

2009-08-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been slow to update here and it is because
1. School started and that is like a tornado going through your house for a couple of weeks straight and
2. I have decided to test out my writing skills in a more public spot. I applied and was accepted to join the Blissfully Domestic website which I hope you will check out and book mark. I don't think it's hard to get accepted as a writer but I don't know. They did have to check out my blog before they said yes so maybe there is something there. I am going to continue with this blog as mostly a family and speak my mind forum but I will always set up a link when I get something published there. I am really excited! I would be more excited if they paid me but hey, gotta start somewhere. I also want to officially announce that I really have started writing a book but I can't tell you much more than that now. I don't know which path I am going to head down with it because depending on which publishers you go with you have to sort of curve your style to their liking so I don't know if it will be a heavily faith based book or just humor, hopefully a little of both! Now that I have told you, I have to get serious about it. If only the kids would cooperate! Wish me luck!

Random thoughts by Bonnie - Hip Hop music

2009-08-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so today I just want to say something about Hip Hop music. I was in my car, ALONE, a rare occurrence indeed, when I flipped to a station that occasionally plays hip hop and this insanely moronic song came on. All I heard was "Let's do it, do it - do do do do do it, it, it it it. Uhhh, is that the dumbest thing I have ever heard? Well, if it isn't it has to come in a close second. I just changed the station. I have no time for that, no patience for the crude areas of life, that is except for the ones I must deal with such as that gross space between the toilet and the wall behind it or the back of the vegetable drawer that has been neglected so long that the squash has liquefied. Did I just say that? OK, yes that has really happened to me, I am not the perfect homemaker but I am getting better with age.
Back to the hip hop song, I actually appreciate that genre of music for its rhythm and creativity. I don't listen to it on a regular basis being a conservative, caucasian mini-van-driving mom of five but hey, I still like a good song and I used to dance a lot back in the day when my jeans were two sizes smaller. In the old millennium. But PULEEEZE, why crank out crap like that? I hate the misogynistic and crude aspects of some hip hop. Call me a dork but I like Will Smith type stuff, no foul language, its not necessary in a really good song. So I decided I would no longer listen to hip hop in English, I will try french. I hear it's pretty good. But then I remembered that I know just enough french to ruin it for me. I could figure out when they were being crude. I just had a brilliant moment, I officially switch to Japanese hip hop. The only word I know in Japanese is cooneachewah (phonetically spelled of course) it's some kind of greeting. Sadly I learned this from watching Hannah Montana. Oh well, I may not be cultured but I appreciate it just the same!

What's for dinner? Apple Crisp

2009-08-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

The other night I started getting nostalgic for fall and why you might ask? Well my kids are back in school already. They get a week off in October which is really nice and then one in February which is the pits but that is where the early start date derives from.

So whenever I get that feeling I like to bake things with apples. I am getting better at this too. I learned to bake with firmer types of apples if you want to bite into it and softer sweeter apples if you want it to sortof melt in your mouth. Fuji and Gala are melty kinds of apples by the way. I used an apple called Golden Delicious. I'm pretty sure that was the name, it worked well and was firm. You can also mix apple types for pies and crisps. It had a topping like oatmeal/sugar cookie. Very good I'd say. Well, I am now looking forward to pumpkin farms and cider but I hate to rush time. That's how you miss neat little things. I must say I have never been a big fan of August, very little to love about that month down here in the south. Oh, I found a neat little web site which I haven't investigated fully but it looks promising and goes right along with my topic http://www.whatsfordinner.net/meals.html

It has 7 meals listed each week. It also lets you create a grocery list and add your own things to it before you print - How cool is that?! And it has creative family ideas. Love it! I bookmarked it as soon as I came across it. Ok, I'm out, you guys have a great night!

First day of First grade for four kids

2009-07-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd throw some alliteration at you with that title. If you are scratching your head then you have been out of school too long. Ok, I sent my four babies to school for the first day of first grade and so far the reactions have been mixed, but mostly good.

I have one child in a special ed class strictly for first graders with autism. Love it, love the teacher she's awesome and loves my daughter dearly so that works out perfectly. That's Doodle on the far left of the second picture. Can you tell by looking at her here? I don't think so but the strangest thing has been happening more and more lately and that is that I have to tell people about her autism because she will do bizarre things for a girl her size that she use to get away with as a little thing (like stealing their french fries at McDonalds) but now, people are not so forgiving. If you spent some time observing her you would probably figure it out but from a picture she looks just like the rest of them and in many ways she is but in many ways, she probably never will be. Her sisters are currently obsessed with weddings and princesses and baby dolls. They ask me if Doodle will ever get married and have babies. Sadly, I tell them, I just don't know but my gut tells me this will not be. I hate to think about it. It was probably one of my top five gut-wrenching moments when I considered this for the first time. That said however, I still believe in miracles and I still pray for her recovery as often as I think about it, which is quite often. No, I don't understand why God hasn't answered me yet but I know he must have a reason. Anyway, I still believe in miracles. Onward and upward.

My other three whom I refer to often as The Three Amigos, are in the same class again. I like this for simplicities sake, same homework, same pace, and the fact that two other sets of eyes can tell me what is really going on in the classroom as far as who did what to whom which caused their "BEE" to be moved. Really it's cool in that respect. I love our school, it's in our backyard literally, so we walk to school most days. I love that we can do that. It feels very green to me and that is good considering I don't have time to recycle, ok I don't take the time to recycle but I only have limited brain space to be occupied by concerns outside of my little world. Oh wait, I JUST realized, I recycle grocery bags to hold nasty diapers!! Ok, that's not really doing anyone a favor since the biodegradibility of a diaper is severly debilitated by being surrounded by more plastic but at least I am using them twice right? Whatever.

I have one daughter in resource classes and speech.

I have one son in gifted.

I have one daughter who isn't in anything extra and doesn't understand this. I am hoping she will be my low-maintence child but really the signs all point towards a sensitive mildly dramatic version of myself at that age. She fell and knocked two teeth back in her mouth yesterday but so thoroughly enjoyed the extra attention and care she has gotten that I think she is considering a repeat. She's fine by the way - baby teeth.

I have a baby who is climbing on anything he can get to, and has learned to dismantle the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs and stealthfully scale the staircase, only to proudly announce his arrival on the second floor by grabbing the railing on the catwalk and smooshing his face between the bars while yelling "GAA!" Until he sees me looking up at him. He is 17 months, I am a little bit afraid of what he will have figured out by the time he is in first grade.

Its going to be a crazy year but I am looking forward to it. Last year was really fun and I expect this year will be no different. Here's to another year of growing up!

At the beach/ Julie and Julia

2009-07-12T03:21:00.000-07:00

Hi to all five of you out there, ok maybe I have picked up a few more readers lately but that is beside the point. I never started this blog with the intention of having a wide audience one day. I just enjoy it. I am at the beach with my crew and in-laws and it is ohh say, 6:30 AM. Yikes, who is dumb enough to be up at 6:30 AM writing on a blog at the beach on "vacation" no less?

Me that's who. *** Side note - to anyone foolish enough to wonder why I put quotes around the word vacation, you must not be a mom. If you want to know why they are there, go ask one.

I was sleeping somewhat peacefully when I was awakened by a screaming, annoyed 17 month old in the pack and play nearby, evidently he was also annoyed - thus the screaming. This in turn set off the other alarm which is my doodle. She was sleeping in the king size bed with me and one of her sisters. So I get fussy baby settled in with me and he calms down, miraculously my Doodle does too, only now, I can't sleep anymore. So I pick up my headset and commence listening to the last CD of the book I have been listening to for the past 3 days - Julie and Julia. You may have heard of the movie that is now out with MerylStreep playing Julia Childs and Amy Adams playing Julie. Anyway, it was entertaining enough to keep me listening to the end but annoying as all get out at the same time.

I don't want to spend a lot of time on going over the plot but you can go here and watch a trailer if you are that interested. I may or may not go see the movie but I do love Meryl so that is a remote possibility. The remoteness is due to the fact that I

A. Love movies more than almost anything and therefore have a line up that is pretty extensive so Julie and Julia falls pretty far down the line and

B. I have five kids and only get to see movies when my parents are in town and

C. My entertainment budget has been severely cut back due to recent economy and current beach trip which we really can't afford but I am oh so grateful to be at.

Anyway, I love cooking but by no stretch of the imagination could I ever believe that I would be capable of accomplishing what the author set out to do which is cook her way through Julia Child's famous book Mastering the Art of French Cooking, every single recipe in one year. First of all time, second money, third I refuse to eat organ meat. Anything that is used by the body to think, collect toxins, deliver waste or purify blood is off limits. Maybe I am as culinary as a vanilla wafer but I have a healthy respect for the limits my stomach can handle.

So, Julie Powell, the author has a few things in common with me, however, there are two huge differences that really cut me off from empathizing with the "heroine" of this story -

One, she is an atheist, though not so much in a "How stupid can you all be?" kind of way, but more of a "whatever, I haven't got time for that mess" which is almost as bad. But, when I read things by nonbelievers it doesn't necessarily anger me it just means that any insight I glean from said book is worthless since its not coming from a greater place. It means no words in her writing have truly been inspired because what is inspiration if it doesn't come from the greatest Author of all times?

And, almost as bad- she is staunchly anti-republican.

Why I don't know? I am not staunchly anti-democrat. They have their few points. I don't beleaguer them that. They are green and sympathetic and have a couple of other redeeming qualities right? ( I can hear two people in my head screaming at me that this is NOT TRUE!, my dad and my best friend's husband.) So why the anti R hatred? Her parents live in TEXAS. That's a pretty conservative state right? She calls Republicans various insulting things throughout the book which I won't dignify by repeating here. But I kept thinking to myself, she has most-likely been dumped by one somewhere in her history. I don't know and it doesn't matter anyway. The author seems genuinely off-put at the end of the book because Julia is offended or critical of her project/blog and I wonder if it has anything to do with the two points mentioned above. I say, HELLO, course she is offended you twit, she was 91 when she read your blog and you say F*** every other line. 91 year olds don't like that word very much and neither do most civilized people, even if we occasionally yell it out in frustration when the kids aren't around.

Oh well, so she doesn't like Republicans, but she has effectively snubbed potentially half of her readership whom she says "don't read the Dining Section of the paper" I beg to differ, I do read that section and I have no idea where she got that idea? Just because I am against murdering unborn babies, believe in families, the sanctity of life, responsibility for oneself, keeping the money I earn to spend as I see fit, choosing which charities I donate to, smaller government and of course SARAH PALIN, this, this qualifies me as some old stogy cigar-smoking rich buracrat? Huh?

Ok, this was a really long post on a seriously random topic but it had to be done. I couldn't sleep anyway, what with the drooling monkey and his two sisters next to him in my bed.
Psst, Julie Powell, they are probably going to be REPUBLICAN CATHOLICS TOO. And well fed I might add.

My secret self

2009-06-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

I am going to share something that only a few of you know about me. I secretly long to be . . dun dun dun - a REALLY good housewife! It has become an obsession of mine. I can't even believe I just wrote that. But I actually can cook, when I have time. I love to bake and try new recipies. I have a sewing machine that I know how to use but haven't in a while, again the time thing. I love it when my house is clean but getting it there is exhausting and never ending. IT just totally cracks me up where I have ended up and how much I enjoy the exact opposite of what I always thought I would be doing. I never wanted to do this stuff when I was little. I guess I always thought I would be a mom but never thought I would be happy with out a fabulous career and travels. I so long to travel and oneday, God willing, I will but for now I have tons to do around here and I get such a strange sense of satisfaction from it. I think its because I have never really been great at anything. I have always been okay at this and that but never really top notch so I never found a niche anywhere. But I am pretty good at this being a mom with too much to do and too much to worry about. I think it may be because I am realizing I can't do it alone so I lean harder on God and that always helps. I try to glean wisdom from my friends and their different areas of expertise. I seriously have one for each area of the whole mom/housewife/home manager/faith thing and they are fabulous. Some are friends from 20 years back and some are newer friends from church, say the past four years or so. I am lucky to have so many good friends and they make my life richer in so many ways. I am rambling.

I am having blog envy today. I have been surfing for homemaking blogs and there are soooo many. Some are Catholic, some are secular but they are all really amazing and these women don't seem like the mousy 1950's image that springs to your mind when you hear the word housewife. I just love my house and my family and it feels so good to finally feel content. Anyone know of any great blogs or websites along this line? Send them my way. Now, where's my apron?

Hope I did the right thing . . .

2009-06-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

My motives were pure. I waited until today to tell my kids about Aunt Becky passing away. The time seemed right. We spent a week at Vacation Bible School and they were fresh full of Jesus so I told them. We listened to her music in the car. She had a CD she made at CafePress. One of the songs, which I will post later, is called Stories. Well I have heard it many times but never really listened you know? It has a line in it that says "Some stories just end before they unfold" or something like that. How profound and prophetic. She really had a way with words and the more I listen to it the more I realize that I did not give her near enough credit for being such a great guitar player. The woman just picked it up one day and decided to teach herself, she never had a lesson in her life. Her songs became increasingly complex in chords and melodies that were wonderful even if I didn't always get the words. A lot of it was autobiographical. Anyway, after I told the kids and we talked about going to heaven and how she would be there waiting on us I found a CD she made for the quads first birthday. She never had money but she always had something for them. I haven't listened to it in years and the first song on the album is a Lullaby she wrote just for them and it really tugs at my heart now that she is gone. I want to link it here but not sure how. I will try. In July I will go up to my parents home in the mountains and finally go through her few remaining possessions. I think that is when I will finally be able to cry. As for my kids, they cried when they heard the lullaby because she says in it that if they ever need her, she will be right there. They asked me if they could write her notes and tie them to balloons to send them up to Heaven. I thought that was a great idea since they weren't involved in the funeral, so we will be doing that tomorrow. Six year olds shouldn't have to learn about death this early but I know they aren't the first and sadly aren't the last.

So she thinks she can dance . . .

2009-06-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

*** Warning - do NOT watch this if your bladder is full.

She is unabashedly unique. Nothing more needs to be said about my Bunny.!

Have a great day!

The Wisdom of a Child

2009-06-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight Doodle was overstimulated. She always has trouble winding down to sleep and those of you who have or know a child with Autism probably know what I mean. Yes the experts say, they need a routine, blah blah blah. Well routine shmootine - IT DON'T WORK. Our routine is in place for the rest of the quads but with her, it all depends on so many variables during the day and now that we are Potty training (big Yay!!) it is even more interesting. So she was bouncing off the walls with no thought of drifting off to the Land of Nod. So we went outside, on the deck and turned the lights off. We sat on the steps, her in my lap, counting stars and feeling that wonderful early summer nighttime breeze - light and cool, yet not chilly at all. Star-gazing, watching airplanes and the trees swaying gently. We were just absorbed in all the goodness of God's world.
Finally, I told her we needed to go inside so we did. No sooner had I sat down than she came to me and grabbed my hand, pointing to the window, and pulling on my she says, "Night- Stars"

This is AMAZING to me.
She's six and she's just begun to do things that my 15 month old is about to embark on. The things you take for granted with typical kids, like sharing an enjoyable activity or having them point to something they want you to see with them, bringing you a book they like, these are all things that kids with autism have trouble with. Heartbreakingly absent in the parent-child relationship of a child with moderate to severe autism. So when it does happen out of the blue you immediately ask yourself the following-
*How did this just happen? (Did she really just say that to me?)
*What caused this to happen? (Have I fed her something different, are the supplements working?, etc.)
*Is she "recovering"? (unlikely)
*Will it ever happen again or was it a fluke?
I am cautiously optimistic. These moments are treasures and I store them away incase it does not happen again.
My precious sweet little girl wanted to share something with me that made her happy! This is such a struggle for these kids and in fact a very early indicator of a problem. When your toddler doesn't bring things to you or point at things they want you to see, red flags should pop out. Denial never helped a child with a developmental delay. I remember the exact moment I realized she wasn't doing these things. Probably around the age of one. I think my husband and I both came to our own similar conclusions about Doodle long before we actually discussed it out loud.
But back to our evening, so I decided we would go back outside, but we went out to the front porch with the incentive being avoidance of big hairy Golden who likes to knock me down each time I open the back door. Well, boy, we were rewarded.
A bright, clear half-moon looked down on us like it had been hung, perfectly centered in front of our house. I nearly gasped. It was so lovely. I looked around. The night air was soft and the view from the gentle hill our house sits atop was like a storybook page.
She sat in my lap and started jabbering again. I mentioned some frogs singing nearby. Many times she seems to make up words or at least I can't understand them. This time, however, I did. Clear as day, I heard my little girl saying,

"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful world."

Absolutely Doodle -
You got that right. . .

Observations of a Redneck: Becky

2009-05-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

Observations of a Redneck: Becky

How my baby makes me laugh

2009-05-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

*** Disclaimer**** - Lest some of you think I am heartless or in denial please know that I have a blog on my sister in the works but it is heavy and sad and right now I need funny so when my little man sat on my head last night and laughed I thought hmmm . . . maybe I will do the funny until I am ready to write the sad. If you don't know me personally, my older sister passed away last week suddenly and I will write more about that later, she was only 39, that is far too young to leave the world.

How My Baby Makes Me Laugh . . .

He sits on my head with his big old pajama clad behind and starts playing with a toy , like this is the most normal of spots to perch, he did laugh though so I think he secretly knew it was funny. Hmm, he likes to think he's funny, wonder where he gets that from???

If I lay on the floor, he uses my body like a piece of gymnastics equipment.

He likes to blow zerberts on any and all exposed flesh that he can reach so watch out if you come over - he doesn't care who it is. He once caught me just above my jeans on my back as I was squatting down to clean the toilet. Talk about a surprise you weren't expecting.

He likes to look at me right before he does one of the things he knows he is not supposed to do just to see if I am paying attention, like climbing on the fireplace, in fact he makes baby noises and calls attention to himself until I catch him doing said activity so I will come over and pick him up to move him. Manipulative little dude.

He likes to play the "Hold my arms out to other adults then psych! Immediately turn back around and hold them out for mom again" game.

When he really likes something he throws one hand in the air, looks up and says GA!! I have yet to figure out what that really means?

He thinks he is six years old like his siblings

He is extremely physically capable and I don't know if that should delight or terrify me!?

He already has a favorite book - Baby's First Word Book, isn't that a Henry James?

He has the cutest, biggest behind I have ever seen on a baby.

He likes to make this face when you, never mind I can't describe it in words you'd have to see it. It is a face that is far too intense for a 15 month old to pull off, he learned it by copying his siblings, it makes them laugh too.

It is this stuff that gets me through the day. It is why I still love him at 2 AM when he is screaming for no apparent reason for the third time in a night. It is the benefit of extra fun in my life that has never for a second made me regret having a fifth baby when everyone in my life except my husband, mom a couple of very close friends thought I was crazy.

That's the good stuff . . .

Becky

2009-04-20T18:26:00.001-07:00

This is my sister Becky, she was 39. She passed away this week. I miss her already. I want to post her eulogy here but I have to figure out how to do it. I am not a techno guru. I will get to it sooner or later. I am still not ready to write a long sad post but I am getting there. For those of you who didn't know her let me just fill you in a bit.

She was older than me by 20 months. She was 39. That is way too young to die. I am the second and then I have a younger sister and a younger brother. My mom had all four of us with in 5 years. I did the opposite five in four years, well okay it was more like 4 in 5 minutes and then one more five years later :)

Do you ever look at people around you who have things like this happen, a death of a very close relative, or some other horrible thing and think that those kinds of things just don't happen to you? I was one of those people, now I am on the other side. Its so very weird. It gives you a completely different perspective on life. Not better or worse I guess, just different. Its like you've been looking at a picture from the same angle and height for years and then you climb up on a ladder and see it looks absolutely different than you imagined. Does that make any sense?

Well speaking for "those people who have these things happen to them" perspective changing events come to all of us at some point in our lives but it isn't necessarily always from a tragic situation such as mine, it can also come from beautiful wonderful events like the birth of four babies at one time or one baby four times? Any babies, babies bring tons of perspective changing magic with them when they enter the world. Love the babies, don't want anymore, well more like can't afford anymore and need a nanny. Becky was a nanny by the way, back to my original intent with this post. It'll make you dizzy - I know, my stream of consciousness writing style tonight is free therapy for me so feel free to click out to something more, hmm, well predictable. So Becky was a nanny, a great one, for 15 or more years. She learned after the first family not to get too terribly attached to the kids. Her first assignment was somewhere in New Jersey and she told me that she still had dreams about the cute little boy and his family. It hurt her not to have him in her life anymore, I wonder if she knows that I now understand that all too well. Becky was creative, intelligent, scary, annoyingly weird, hilarious and frustrating. She was just my sister but I know other people saw her differently. It bothered me when she all of a sudden decided new people in her life would call her Rebecca instead of Becky or Bec as I called her, but I guess she just wanted a grown up name.

There time for a new paragraph. My English teachers would have a ball with a red pen on this piece of work. Becky liked music that I just didn't get like Tori Amos - yuck if you put me in a room with that music on I would complain of illegal torture tactics. I am sure she is a nice person but all that melodramatic whiny muck grates on my nerves. Anything that reeks of co dependence or angst is a deal-breaker to me, that includes people. I believe Becky knew that about me and respectfully hid some of hers from me. Does that make me cold? I don't know, I just know that I have joy in my life, joy of living a normal life (well, that's debatable) Joy from being kinda conventional and conservative and not doing drugs etc :) Joy in watching my children grow up in a stable predictable environment year after year which I know could be snatched up at any moment and so I remember to thank God for each day we have together in this world. I guess that gives you enough to chew on for the moment. I will tell you more about her funny escapades one day soon. She was a hoot. I will miss that most of all. Love you Bec.

One thing . . . leads to another

2009-04-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

I was forced to clean my house all last week because my quads had their classmates party on Sunday. Now I have awful carpets and nothing can make them better except ripping them out to get new ones but we just aren't quite there yet. But I scrubbed the floor, the baseboards, windows, bathroom, the kitchen, and even the playroom. I dusted and mopped, swept and did all the things that I normally don't get to on a regular basis. What I have found is that when you start cleaning up one area of your home that leads to another and then another because once you get one cleaned up you realize just how awful the other parts look in comparison! But here is a typical clean up session for me, maybe it will be make you laugh but it is accurate and the truth -I get up and down a big coffee because it gets my blood moving and gets me out of "sit around in pj's eating breakfast mode (note: I still eat, I just move while I am doing it, I have never been and never will be a breakfast skipper , pshaw - AS IF?) Then I have to feed everyone and change two diapers. Then I tackle the have to's - dishes and laundry, meanwhile something in the kitchen catches my eye, it is my daughter who has been bugging me for three days to paint her toenails pink , painting her own toenails pink - everything screeches to a halt "Mouse, you know you can't do that by yourself "
Her "but mommy you said you would and you kept saying you would and you still hafent done it!"
Okay, she's right and I kinda HAFE to live up to my promises don't I?
"Allright sweetie, hang on." I finish up whatever I am doing and start doing something else that catches my eye and I hear this faint voice "Mommy you aren't doing it yet?!" Oh yea right - arrrgggghhh!
Well lets see, I half way sit in the chair in front of her, well almost, I do a hover squat but then have to stand up because I notice her toenails are too long and ragged so I have to go find the clippers which will also require the trash can to put clippings in so I go dig the clippers out and make mental note to dump and sort junk drawer someday soon. Then I grab the trash can and notice it is full to the top so I put it down, I put the clippers down, I go to the pantry to get a new liner, I have to unrig the homemade baby proofing (headband and a chip clip) on the doors. Get the liner, change it out then take trash bag to garage, notice there are three bags already out there waiting to go to the trash can outside, so I take them all and then think while I am out there, "I should just go ahead and get the mail." Oooh I better run back and shut the door so the baby doesn't fall out. I get the mail and start to look through it. Get irritated at same old junk. Make mental note to throw out the last four issues of the same catalog I get every week and have never ordered from but for some reason have a hard time letting go of. On the way back up the driveway I notice some onions and other weeds sprouting in my soon to be filled with Gerber Daisys flower beds (Yay Perinneals! ) Pull 'em. Toggle between leaving weeds in driveway to dry up like my dad taught me or picking them up in a garbage bag to throw away like husband likes , decide husbands way would require yet another side trip to get a new bag so I leave them on driveway which irritates husband who later throws them back in flower beds which I find to be very counterproductive passive aggressivy! Then remember CRAP I am supposed to be painting daughters toenails, how the hell did I end up obsessing about weeds! I run back inside and slow down to open the door because there is usually a baby, sometimes mad, waiting on the other side. There is so I have to do this sortof slow dance thing trying to ease the door open enough to push the baby gently enough to move him but not enough for him to fall down while moving. Then I shimmey around the door like you have to do when you are trying to get into a stupid public bathroom stall thinking to yourself, "I am an average sized person and there is no comfortable way to get in here without putting a foot in the toilet in order to shut the door!! What do the plus sized people do? Aarrgghh!"
So anyway, I finally get back in the house, aiming for the little girl awaiting a pedicure when I smell something peculiar , yep, budgie has done a boo boo in his pants as we like to say around here. So I head for the bathroom and locate diapers and wipes, which must be refilled so I do that and notice the trash can is overflowing so I do that and then notice son is playing in toilet water so gross! I scoop him up and wash his hands while he fusses. Then I have to change him and that requires another trip to the garage where the diaper champ awaits smelly and full, that needs changing too!!!!! Nope not touching it, DH can do it when he gets home. So I set the offensive article on top of the diaper champ and head back in, baby in tow. Set him down and pause with brain freeze for a moment - I am supposed to be . . . hmm, see exasperated daughter staring at me holding nail polish and practicing her best imitative Zoey 101 eyeroll , 5 year olds should not be that good at that yet! "Mom - toes - polish!" Oh crap, yes toes, polish "coming!" I say and I clip, polish, sweep, wash hands. Flop on the couch - mission accomplished.
"Mom I-am-so hungry -I-wanna-eat-NOW!" comes another voice
Oh well, I will get to sit down when I am like 58 and then I have a feeling I will never get up again. Now aren't you exhausted after reading all that? It was hard reliving it just to write it all down, but I will never miss the chance to make you laugh and appreciate your own life, so there. Have a good night and don't ever ask me to paint your toes.

Cyber Socializing

2009-03-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, admit it - most of you (ahem - us) enjoy time wasting with cyber-socializing. Pretty harmless and only a bit addictive but a relatively new phenomenon, (I like to use big words!) Anyway, I am finding it more and more necessary to get through my day. I carry my Crackberry, I mean Blackberry in my pocket and marvel at the little snippits of info I get from friends or "friends" from days past.
I love getting "friended" by people, but it cracks me up when its someone from high school, usually in my year, whom I never even spoke to or atleast don't remember doing so. Must we all be friends? Do I still have to play nice and let everyone into my little cyberworld or is it okay to be exclusive? I was pondering this questions recently when I decided to weed out my friend list. Not to be mean at all, just to par down or simplify my life in this tiny area I have control over. So on Facebook I cut maybe 5 or 10 people whom I never exchanged messages with because I don't really care that they are bowling with their sister in law or the fact that they are going to Hawaii and just want to make all of us non-Hawaii goers jealous (it worked) or maybe they are having a baby - nahh I always think that is cool to hear about! But anyway, I weeded and then started getting refriended (I think I just invented new Facebook lingo) by the same person over and over and I just kept ignoring it. Not because I didn't like her, I don't even really know her anymore, well never did, we just happened to graduate together. I found it odd and annoying that she kept pestering me so I dug my heels in and finally blocked her completely. Why? Why does she care? That is so weird. My point, and I do have one, is that this new time sucker FB has its own rules and strangly enough, politics just like everything else. Like my mom always said, you have to use your social skills, even on FB. I was going to go into Twitter but I fear I may bore some of you so I will leave that for another day. My last thought is that I am getting to live vicariously through the postings of my favorite group of students who are now in their mid twenties, they are my cheerleading squad from my teaching days. I laugh at the things they post, one is in England, one is in Egypt, one in Miami, etc. They are completely grown up but I keep getting shocked when they allude to some not-for-adolescents behavior and of course they are not adolescents anymore, they are adults, at least on paper! Have a good night.

All I really want right now . . .

2009-03-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

Its Friday, ahhh what that used to mean -
no work, no school, no housework or laundry, a date with my husband or friends and sleeping in the next morning, maybe a party to look forward to or shopping at the mall with unspoken for cash, running with my dog etc.

Here is what it means now -
-getting up early anyway because the baby thinks breakfast is at 5 AM everyday
-getting up early for baseball pictures which start at 8-freakin AM?????
-trying to understand why our softball coach thinks anyone would want to add a third softball event to the same day (pictures, practice game and practice game) Huh, she has no life or maybe just less than 5 children
-being stuck in the house with five no make that 6 cranky kids if you count DH when it rains and having to feed them
-still doing just as much laundry as weekdays or risk having a terrible laundry make up monday session
- wanting desperately to order pizza but not due to daughter being on Gluten and Casein free diet that everyone swears works but doesn't (Pizza is her fave and mine too.)
- Having to fix and feed everyone 3 times a day instead of twice.
-having to listen to myself complain in my head when I can't get to the blog to do it.
-imagining how great my friends lives are at the moment because of course they have to be better than mine!
okay, thats it I am through for a moment, hope you enjoyed my SUPERFUN ATTITUDE!

Snowy Day in Georgia

2009-03-02T09:47:00.001-08:00

Well, we finally got it, and on March 1st! I always and only wish for one day and night of snow each year, here in the fairly deep south (which I adore.) Sleet turned to snow yesterday as the temps plummeted and my children were thrilled.

Here is doodle talking to a lumpy grungy snowman, I think she is waiting for it to wake up and say "Happy Birthday! Seriously she stood there for like 20 minutes oblivious to the cold and she refused to wear gloves.

Here is dad being a good dad trying to make grungy snowman #2.

This is me trying to take a picture of Jack with the snow, left handed. He didn't have any appropriate attire, heck none of us did. Should you invest money each year on snow proof clothes and shoes when your children are growing and will only need it once each year? Especially when 4/5 of your kids are all the same age and size so its not like hand me downs would get used all that much!

I finally got in a picture this morning and I like this one simply because it is so colorful in our hodge podge of piece-mealed clothing! Hope it is dry and sunny tomorrow like they are predicting. 70's by Friday. Now that's what I like about the South . . .

Navigating the social side of life

2009-02-26T08:51:00.000-08:00

Here is my silly "shy" girl. Looking at this picture you can see her true personality, a total ham. She loves to sing, play dress up and give snappy eyerolling remarks reminiscent of a 13 year old (yes, that one really scares me but currently it is hilarious coming out of a 5 year olds mouth.) She is actually very shy, but I can tell kids like her and want to be friends with her. Once I was walking behind her at school and a little girl came running up and threw her arm around my daughter and said "Hey D!" They walked to class together but I caught a glimpse of my daughter and she had this look on her face like "what is going on?" She later told me, she liked this girl and wanted to be friends with her but that she didn't know what to say. The other girl, being the more outgoing of the pair, obviously wanted the same thing and took charge of the situation as that came natural to her. I have always been envious of those people. D is definitely my daughter, age has helped somewhat as has having children, but I am not a natural at social situations, it has taken careful observation and practice to feel as comfortable as I do now, which is much better than say my twenties were in that respect, but still its an ongoing struggle and has something to do with confidence and an awareness that you truly are no more or less important on this earth than anyone you may talk to (well short of the Pope, and some select world leaders I guess!)

So I really want to pass this lesson on to my children as I think my mom has done for me. She is also on the shy side but really has the best social skills as far knowing what is the best thing to do or not do in a situation "Bonnie, you need to leave the neighbors house when they start cooking supper" "People like to hear their name when you are talking to them." She is right about that one, try it. When you are talking with someone, just say their name or notice how you feel when they say yours, it makes you feel like they care. Anyway, this begs the question, how do you teach your children to navigate the social side of life? It really is that important, it is after all the way we reach out and connect with people that makes life enjoyable. We are all social creatures, even those of us who are shy. I do not consider myself shy anymore. But it took years to get to this point. I have another daughter who will never be shy and I suspect the baby will be the kind of person that people revolve around because he has that magnetic personality. Well, I started this post as an update but as is usually the case, it turned into a commentary on something totally random. More to come . . .

What a CRAZY week we have had!

2009-02-15T06:52:00.000-08:00

Hi long-lost blog friends, we have had a crazy week here, or two maybe? Let me fill you in on my tuesday and then maybe a few other fun things as well -

So I have to do the usual get everyone up including the baby and get dressed, feed, water and potty them. Tie shoes, fix lunch , zip backpacks etc and buckle them in the car by 8 AM.
I nearly always end up saying something I regret, someone is in tears (often myself) or I am just fuming in general. I may be getting a better grip on this but more on that later. I only had two to drop off as my big boy had strep - yuck- so far the rest of us have faired well. I kept my first born home (first born by 30 seconds) as she had an appointment with doodles Psych. for an eval we are suspecting ADD but it has been suggested that mild autism is not out of the question - Lord why another one?) I am thinking God has decided we are handling the first one so well that he thought we could add another? SO the moral of the story is - to those who have much, more will be piled on top until you can't see light at all.
Anyway, baby J, big boy and "baby"A and myself drive 35 minutes to pick up MIL. Then we get a flat on the way. I never even felt a thing?? Luckily we were a hundred yards from a gas station and just happened to be 5 minutes from my husbands work so he came out and changed it in his nice clothes. This is a new to us car so we had to read the manual to figure out where the heck the spare was and boy was it complicated. All that extra storage comes at a price, they jimmied the spare up under the car on some kind of cable and wench system? I suspect I just lost most of you there didn't I? Me too, anyway. We drive on, not too late because, for once, I left with some time to spare, yes I know, totally not my style. The Dr basically confirms that there is indeed an issue with out daughter which I knew but still hated hearing, and how interesting is it that in this age of budget cuts Walton County is reevaluating her and "finding" that she might not qualify anymore?? They ought to be patting their teachers on the back for catching her up, not saying she doesn't need the help now because she is doing well. The fact is, she is very smart but cant focus to save a dime and once that extra help is gone she will fall behind again per teachers and therapists. The officials are saying otherwise, the ones who don't know her and administer tests. Whatever,
So while I was at the Dr, Dh calls and says the school called and said a boy in doodles class, large and mean, has pushed her off the slide a 6 foot drop and she is in the nurses office with a limp. I was too far away so he went to pick her up and she ended up being okay but I really wanted to pound that stupid kid (don't judge me for calling him stupid, if it was your kid getting shoved you would feel exactly the same) She is totally defenseless. She wouldn't know how to defend herself at all in any situation and he was twice her size. I do not care that he has a disability, I want him gone from her class. He has hit and cussed at everyone and needs to be in a psychoed center. They are having a meeting on monday and the parents do not think there is a problem. Coincidently Doodle received a huge full price valentine from this boy with his parents handwriting sending "lots of love!" Barf me out the door people. Ooh I just got a little angry there?
Okay so that was my Tuesday, she is fine though and her wonderful teacher and parapros are fiercely protective of her, especially now so hopefully that will be the end of that. My next entry will be about the healing mass and some fun stuff.

What's goin' on

2009-02-08T13:09:00.000-08:00

To start, as I sit here and write, I hear one of my five year old walking around in the kitchen singing "womanizer, womanizer . . " that's about all she knows thank goodness. We were, gulp, listening to it on the way home from church (that's when the top 40 countdown comes on!)
So , some thoughts on this crazy week. First of all, Baby J turned ONE YEAR OLD!! I can't believe it. I really had mixed emotions about it. MY baby is not really a baby at this point, although that's only a technicality, every mom knows he will always be my baby. He is sure gettin fiesty though. HE wants what he wants, when he wants it and that's it. There is no reasoning with him, he doesn't see your point of view. I am not sure that will change even as he matures but I have learned this. Most of the annoying, stressful exasperating traits your children have area a good sign of healthy, typical development and will probably serve them well in the future, even if you are driven crazy by it presently! Stubborness, early walking, some amount of clinginess (remember, the opposite is aloofness and that's not good) Anyway, I made a resolution for February to keep my posts shorter so I will end this one and say that the next will update you all on my experience at the healing mass with Alan Ames that we took Doodle to.

My washing machine

2009-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if this post will be funny or even interesting, but I will try my best. You see My washing machine (which is like 12 years old and has already been fixed once by my amazingly self-trained-at fixing-random-things husband,) is broken. I am sooooo coveting those snazzy-lookin' matchy matchy front loaders with the commercial looking stands. I can't really justify the purchase in this economic climate however, I promise I would- use it use it wear it out, make it work or do with out'-to quote a phrase from WWII. Wait a minute, that's what I'm doing now with the old washer and dryer (the dryer has been revamp by my handiman as well.)

See I do like 2 loads a day minimum if I want to have any kind of a weekend. Unless I am pg with morning sickness and then I don't do any until my MIL or mom comes over and feels sorry for me. But since that won't be happening anymore ... I have no excuses, I try to be a fly baby but I can only take that attitude for so long before it makes me want to hurl. But I digress, I deserve to have the proper tools to take care of my family of seven but it ain't gonna happen due to the fact that my darn husband figured out what part needed replacing. BTW - I need a new lap top too, this one is missing some keys! Also notta happenin' . I very much want to quit wanting things but I guess its human nature. I need to become a Christian Buddhist , don't they tout the philosophy that all human suffering comes from attachment to things. Well I am technically attached to the idea that my kids need to wear clothes to school that don't have old ketchup stains on them so I guess I can't be a buddhist. If there ever was a household that would use and appreciate a heavy duty washer and dryer its this one. Unless you count the family with 18 kids but they have like a laundry floor complete with closets and maybe 5 washers and dryers. So I spent 30 bucks at the laundromat last week and the stuff wasn't even dry when I got home - not DRY!! or folded (shouldn't the machines do that too?) Really cool people hang out at laundromats, like the creepy stalker looking pseudo-nerd who shouldn't have to be there as long as he is since he has to be single so he wouldn't need to do more than one load? Or the mom whose kid is running around checking ALL the machines for change AGAIN. Other good times to be had at the washateria as my mom still calls it, The wonderful fumes of Bounce, mixed with chlorine bleach and burnt dryer lint. and that nice sticky icky feeling you get when you accidently touch any surface including the change machine. I used three of the super-mega washing machines, each holds four loads and costs 5.25 per shot. I did 12 loads then and tryed to shove them into two dryers thinking I would save money? The more wet clothes the longer it takes to dry so I didn't end up saving myself any thing at all! Hmpff! I just need to take it in stride, The part should arrive tomorrow and I can go back to doing my 2-3 loads a day and eventually catch up once more. I read an article in an inspirational magazine that struck a chord and it literally said "if you have a washing machine that works- be thankful! Well I don't but I am still thankful because we have clothes to be washed and I "cant" do any washing right now so that leaves some time free to do things like dishes or post on a blog about how much I need a new washer !

All my children and my friends' too

2009-02-03T13:53:00.001-08:00

Check out this post on my friend Lisa's blog. It has some cute pictures of our collective children.

What's your child's gift?

2009-01-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

Here is the picture I sent in to Regis and Kelly's Beautiful Baby contest, so you can give up, no more entries are being accepted since they saw him. sorry guys (I am kidding of course, well- sort of, they are still accepting entries but its just a formality at this point!) If he gets selected, ahemm excuse me, when he gets selected I expect everyone to vote for him the week of March 9th. I mean who wouldn't want to see this face on TV and Magazines??? This was his Nana's idea but I agree with her.

I sit here on a Friday afternoon exhausted and happy too. Although doodle will not quit going through pullups and the house smells as a result! Most of you know doodle is not my baby so changing her is no fun whatsoever. (I am not sure if that is supposed to be one big word or not?) Anyway, I am happy we get to get up and watch TV in the morning but we have baseball and softball evals so we can't slug around too late. Please pray for me as I will have three playing ball and a baby plus doodle to tote to the games. Still not sure how I am going to do this but I am determined to let them play a sport this spring. I loved Soccer last year, the three were on the same co-ed team and it worked nicely with baby in a carrier. But this year he is all over the place and so unsatisfied to be stuck in a stroller. He has the most stubborn attitude any baby has ever had, I promise!

I am happy also because my big boy received a permission slip to be tested for the gifted program!! I know this has nothing to do with me or else all my kids would have gotten one but it is nice to get a happy testing in addition to the, "we aren't sure what your daughters issues are" testing notices! I am not talking about doodle their. Poor baby D she doesn't get tested for anything unless you count repeated vision and hearing tests which she did fine on after the ear infections and such cleared up.

So I want to share with you that I feel like I am living in a little science experiment on Nature Vs Nurture. I have 4 subjects with nearly identical environments and variables, same mom and dad, house, age, food, temperature, opportunities and grandparents! So it has certainly shown me that nature has a lot to do with it since I feel like I have 4 very very different kids. I do think they are all bright in their own ways, really. They are all four excellent readers, I think I may have helped with that since I love to read and like reading to them. But other than that, they each have surprising things about them that are terrific. I am sure that all kids have something special about them but I wonder how many go unnoticed because they are not considered traditional gifts? Ever notice how some kids are very intuitive and empathetic? Even as kindergartners, or a fabulous sense of humor. Creativity, memory, and a caring personality are all special gifts as well. I hope everyone will look for the gifts their children have, even if they never get invited to join the gifted program. I hope I will remember that should my son not "pass" whatever tests they put in front of him. He is already gifted to me as are the other 4, baby J's just remains to be seen!

All things random . . . and some pictures from McDonalds

2009-01-25T19:34:00.000-08:00

I call this one "Gigantic Baby eats Local Playland" And the one above is "Silly Sisters Sliding"

I think people like to read blogs with pictures better even if the posts have nothing to do with the pictures. I also have no idea why when I loaded these it crammed them next to each other instead of letting me write between them? Oh well.

This is what we were doing on the recent school holiday. Its one of the few places we can safely go and afford! The only real problem is that Doodle likes to steal other peoples fries off their trays and she doesn't care if they are looking or if they get mad, she does it anyway. So I have to buy a giant size fry as soon as we get there and put it out for her to eat.

What thoughts do I have for all of you tonight hmm lets see :

I was recently out at Walmart and realized I looked ridiculously hideous, sweats, a baby stained shirt and old sneakers, then I looked around and well ,of course I fit in perfectly which shocked me in a new way since I don't consider myself a "Walmart shopper" even though I most certainly am! So that leads me to this - when did the girl who used to spend 1 and 1/2 hours getting ready for school turn into the woman who just uses clothing to cover her body. I mean seriously this is insane - I like clothes, cute ones but can't buy any and if I did they wouldn't be in the size I wanted and they would very shortly be destroyed by spaghetti sauce and baby puke.

Oh by the way, my neighbors I like to call Rednecks-with-money, have moved out and praise be to God they took the Yard Art with them!!!! I can't tell you how this thrills me! No more concrete deer, angels, little boy fishing on a bench, no more giant fountain or little lighthouses! Hallelujah! Of course on a sad note, who am I going to make fun of anymore?

So I was entertaining one of my kids who wanted me to sing (I don't really sing well so I don't know what possessed her to ask me) I started doing the Name Game and I thought , I wonder if people play the name game with their kids names before they write them on birth certificate? I know for a fact that this is a good idea because my dad's name is Buck, try it . . .

Ha see, not a good idea at all, don't name your kid Buck, or anything that rhymes with it.

Today I ordered a small coffee from Dunky Donuts as my kids call it, that is the smallest dang coffee I have ever seen in my life. I looked like a dixie cup. They should call it a sample.

I often have the random thought that I wonder what is going on on Mars or Jupiter right at this moment. Have you ever thought about that? It's like the old saying, If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it . . . well even though no one is there to see the weather and the scenery on said planet, its still there and its still going on, how weird is that?

Speaking of other planets, my daughter walks in the other day and (FYI she is the queen of random thoughts so I guess you see where she gets it) she says "Mom is this Earth that we're on (well it sounded more like Earf but you get the picture) "Sweetie," I said, "Mommy lives on Earth but I don't know what planet you're on." Sorry that was mean but she comes right back with "Your KIDDING, I am your kid mom!" She tends to obsess and take everything literally so I had to concede eventually.

This particular daughter loves to sing and loves Momma Mia (which I know I probably shouldn't have let her watch umpteen times but I usually FF thru the two parts that kids don't need to see) Here is her version of one ABBA song " the river takes it all, the lizard takes a fall!"

If you don't know what the real verse is, then you were probably born in the 90's and you shouldn't be reading my blog!

Okay, that is all for now but let me leave you with this one last thought -

No that's it, I don't have anymore thoughts tonight, love ya! There Katie, are you happy now??

Random Picture Contest

2009-01-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

Okay here is the 21st picture from my May folder, as per instructions on my friend Lisa's blog.

This is a picture of one of my girls at the most awesome pre-k program in the world - LLL. Anyway, her teacher is holding my new baby boy and we are watching . . . some kid showing off or something I can't remember. Boy this is exciting stuff, you guys should be thanking me that this picture is #21 because #20 was a scary "Before" pic I took in my old bathing suit, just in case I ever got to the point of being able to take an "After" FYI - I am not there yet and now having looked at before picture again, realize just how little progress is being made toward AFTER category - depressing thought. But hey, I lot 7 pounds on Monday by way of the latrine and a stomach bug. Today is Saturday and I have only gained back 6.5! Okay my goal is to take an after shot by the last day of school so that gives me hmmmm 4 months. If it is a big enough difference I pledge to post the pictures. Yikes, anyone care to join me? I didn't think so. Have a great weekend!

Umm Hi people

2009-01-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

Say, I would like more blogs to read and I would like more little tiny pictures of people who read my blog on my page (makes me feel better.) So send me your links and put your little picture under my followers page!
My words of wisdom for today: Do not choose the night when one of your quads is going to have a stomach virus to be the night you try and get your 11 month old spoiled baby boy to go back to sleep in his own crib instead of your warm cozy bed. Here is what my night was like, and I am telling you this so that tonight when you retire to your baby-free beds (except a couple of you I know!) You will lay back and dreamily drift off thinking "ahhh I am so glad I don't have 5 year old quadruplets who aren't great sleepers to deal with tonight or ever, I am so happy I didn't dabble in attachment parenting and co-bedding when I wasn't fully committed or know what I was doing, I am so glad I don't have a daughter who howls when someone wakes her up with their own screaming - I - AM-GOING-TO-THROW-UP!!!!" I feel all you readers cringing and tensing up as you read this so . . . STOP THAT - it isn't real, you are just reading my blog, relax. No I am not crazy just severly sleep deprived. Why am I not in bed now you ask? Because I am stupid or just need a minute to unwind. I will be there shortly I promise. Anyway, Here is what happened:

I stayed up doing something trivial last night and time got away from me and it was 11 when I turned in. I tossed until maybe 11:30 or later then my daughter comes in crying about her tummy and sits in the bathroom for an hour. This wakes up the sleeping baby, so I nurse him and put him back in crib instead of our bed so I can help my girl, well we had decided that tonight he needed to start staying in his crib because an almost one year old doesnt need to be nursed back to sleep 3 times each night, as he has for the last well, 11 months. I am tired man. And, he wailed for an hour the whole time I am thinking, I am the most horrible mother in the world ignoring him, well Roy was with him and kept laying him down telling him to go to sleep Nicely of course. He must have done that about 200 times before he took the hint and passed out. This was during the 1 oclock hour. This in turn woke up daughter 2 and she got up and stood in the hall howling until I came in and got in bed with her and tummy acher. She didn't go to sleep by 23o and I finally got up and slowly left the room waiting for her to protest, she didn't so I gladly lay in my own bed.
230 - 430 SLEEP!
430 The tummyacher comes running in my room delivering her line (see caps above) then doesn't make it to the toilet of course. and keeps wanting to tell me that she is going to throw up again while I keep yelling put your face over the potty! She finally does and does. Then cleanup commences, baby wakes up screaming, I am cleaning floor and then daughter in tub complete with second hairwashing in less than 6 hours. Roy gets up and searches for carpet cleaner machine his parents gave us as a gift last year (THANK YOU SHIRLEY!) I am laughing now bc if you came in my house right now you would most definitely say, this woman does not own anykind of carpet cleaner! Okay that would be from the stomach virus of '05 and I can't do anything about that now but get new family room carpet! So Roy starts cleaning and I am dealing with baby and older daughter praying doodle won't take this opportunity to wake up restate her protest on all the noise by joining in (she doesn't!) Then I remember that I was supposed to have a coffee date with my favorite Starbucks buddy Jen D. and now that is shot and that it is the first day back at school so I would have gone to the gym and Kroger etc now also shot. Geegaflutnik! How selfish am I? My poor little girl wretching and all I can think about is my stupid, expensive, yuppy coffee. What kind of mom does that?
I guess I do, sometimes.
I then realize that this is what God put me here for, exactly these kind of moments, when all hell brakes loose, when I see the best come out in my husband who doesn't complain and the worst come out of my daughter, literally! We are a family pulling together to get through a night of hellish proportion and then Roy will get up and go to work so we can pay the bills, I will trudge along with my weary soul saying why me God? but knowing the answer (okay, no I really don't know the answer but doesn't that sound like the appropriate "writer has a revelation line to deliver" moment?) WHATEVER! It just is what it is and we all go through it eventually, some of us more often than others. I love my kids and my husband and my God. I love my life most days, not today, but I did get a nice drizzly day nap in the bed with the tummyacher who got over her aliments by noon . I knew this because it was like someone turned a switch on and she started talking nonstop about everything and wanting to eat again, I was like "Whoa Nelly, slow down take it easy, lets try Sprite and crackers."
Lord how I can run on a paragraph. No body cares in blog world and no teacher will grade me so I am going to leave it as is. If Roy reads this he will let me know.
I will close now, I don't know if this has made any sense. If I keep writing such long nonsensical posts no one will read them anymore! Have a good night. And send one my way too!
Reader update: As I am turning off my computer Roy walks in holding his stomach -yikes - its going to be a long night.

You are a winner . . .I think?

2009-01-03T05:49:00.000-08:00

Okay so my friend Lisa is doing this blogger Pay it Forward Contest and being one of the first three bloggers . . I won. Now you can too.

On to the rules:

Be one of the first three bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.

Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first three bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

The gift that you send to your Three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!

If you are not one of the Top Three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Please start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same.

Thanks Lisa I lifted the rules from your blog so I wouldn't have to do it again! By the way, Lisa's blog is quite humorous and she is an AWESOME photographer of children. You can check out her second blog which is a photo blog for her business.

*******************************************************************************

While I am on the subject of Lisa, she gave me the Butterfly award:

Now I get to give it to up to ten blogs I love and post links to them and then those recipients can do the same to bloggers they love (and up load the graphics to their own site.) Some of these people I know personally and some I do not. They may or may not want my award, but I am sure they will appreciate the link anyway!

The first is Lisa of course, my favorite public blogger of all time and one of my bestest friends from the great Auburn University and her link it straight above!

I have to give my award to Mara also, my favorite private blogger of all time and also a best friend. Oh and also from AUBURN- WAR EAGLE .

The next is Testosterhome, who inspires me with her wit and the fact that she is raising FIVE BOYS! I have five but not all boys, that has to be an interesting life.

My friend Rach, out in Utah has the best style and is one of the most creative people I know, sure miss her since she moved away from GA. Her blog is called Johnsons Framed.

My friend Katie K. who inspires me with her unique humor and take on motherhood. How can anyone born after the 70's have so much insight on life? Not that I have any but . . yes I am a 70's born child, so I am somewhere in my thirties in case you are ciphering. Kinda Crunchy Suburbanites gets a Butterfly award anyway!

I would give one to my husband for his blog but he wouldn't appreciate it I fear, a blog about being a redneck does not want a butterfly graphic on it!

And lastly the neatest cooking blog I know, I wish I had the time and energy of this woman, a very cool web site that was her New Years resolution last year, to use her crock pot every single day of 2008, log the recipes along with photos and a verdict from her family. Very cool and she has a book coming out soon. Congrats to A Year of Crockpotting.

Thanks for reading my humble blog, if you want to win something from moi, be one of the first three to leave a comment (now that is pathetically easy right?)

Happy days are here again!

2008-12-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

Well, in light of my very negative post yesterday, which I reread and cringed a bit but ultimately decided to leave online due to its truthfulness, in light of that I decided to lighten things up a bit with a post of pictures from our day of fun at the mall. Above is Pauli driving her new boat at Bass Pro Shop. The kids loved being able to climb around on those boats, I am sure the staff was watching us with trepidation but we took full advantage of this unconventional playground.

Here is one of Pop looking thrilled while the other kids ride the Merry Go Round. Notice how Jacks outfit is coordinated to match his new stroller, I always do that! Kidding that would be OCD for sure. I only have that occasionally.

Okay, this is something I would have loved as a kid but now makes me want to throw up. I didn't even like watching them enjoy it! They loved it and I was so glad I had to stay off and watch Jack. I used to be the queen of roller coasters but now I am not even sure I could do the Log Jamboree at Sick Flags, I mean Six Flags.

Again the look of Joy, and we did this after eating in the food court Pizza and Fries. How I have earned my Gold star mom of the year award today! Have you ever had one of those days where you just want them to be happy and not end up in the hospital? Let them eat, do and wear and say what they want, pretend not to see or hear the parts you don't like and just smile? Well today was that kind of a day. It works for me on occasion.

I hope they remember these years as fun and not with me always saying something like this:

Kid: "Mom can we do X, Y, or Z?"

Me: "No"

Kid"Whyyyyyyyeeee?"
Me: "Because I have five kids and its tooooooo hard!"

So from then on my answer is either no or No bc I have 5 kids

I mean I use that as an excuse for everything,

Can we have Pizza?

No bc I have 5 kids?

Can we play at McD?

No five kids

Can we go to Walmart with you?

No 5

Etc, Ad Nauseum

Anyway, We had fun today and no one went to the hospital. It was all in all a success I'd say. When we got home with grandparents in tow (my in laws) I even whipped up the last batch of tollhouse cookies I will make this century bc in a few days I am back on weight watchers and I had to use up the last of my 16 lb bag of chips from Sam's. Ohhh they are so good I am eating them right now and the kids are asleep and you are reading this wishing I would share. Sorry! I will be paying for it later in Step class though. Have a Happy New Year, Can't wait for 09!

Can you help me?

2008-12-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

Instead of a typical post, I am going to write out all the questions I have in my head today and if anyone who reads this has an answer to one or all of them, I would love to hear it!

1. Why do fools fall in love?

2. What is the meaning of life?

3. Why will my son not eat anything but sweets?

4. Why won't my baby sleep like a baby?

5. Why do people feel like everyone in the world should act/dress/think/worship/recreate/live as they do?

6. Why can't I remember anything from all the Calculus and Physics classes I took at Auburn.

7. Why does my kids' pediatrician (whom I love as a person) keep telling me that vaccines are totally harmless, how can she be sure? She is willing to bet my baby's future neurological health on it when I have two little girls who have issues one major and one minor.

8. Why doesn't everyone know that many if not most of the vaccines that we push in the USA have patents owned by the CDC? Money, money, money . . . that's all I'm saying, oh that and yes I can see where a 2 lb baby needs a shot for an STD like Hep B? Or anybaby for that matter, how many drug using infants do you know, the moms are tested for Hep B so if it comes out negative, why give the shot so damn early? (Sorry sore spot)

9. Why do all the Catholic churchs now use contemporary Christian music instead of traditional Catholic Hymns which are very beautiful, especially at Christmas?

10. Why can't I use the bathroom without someone talking to me from the hallway?

11. Why wasn't I born with some amazing talent like music or the ability to use alchemy to create gold?

12. Why do I find it so difficult to find time to pray (and without falling asleep?)

13. How is it possible that I have so many wonderful friends?

14. Why did it take my husband so long to start his own blog, he is one of the best writers I know!

15. Why ask Why?

16. Who wrote the book of love?

17. Why can't I stop eating chocolate?

18. Why wasn't I born with a fast metabolism?

19. How do I answer my daughter when she asks the following questions -

"Mommy why doesn't God give all the children in the world enough food to eat?" or "Mommy why doesn't Santa give all the poor kids toys like we get?" "Mommy, how did baby Jack get in your tummy?"

Followed quickly by "Mommy how did the Dr get baby Jack OUT of your tummy?"

20. Why am I up on the computer when I could be catching up on sleep? (I can answer this one, I drank too much Coke and I enjoy the quiet!

OK people - I'm waiting????

How do I do it?

2008-12-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

People ask me this quite frequently and to be honest, I never know how to answer them, though in truth, it is probably just a rhetorical question and they are probably not really looking for an answer. But I have it for you today. That is if you are interested.
Here is how . . .
Today after baking about 200 plus chocolate chip cookies for teachers and coworkers,
today after wrestling all day with a baby who kept me up all night because he was wheezing and feverish and the Benadryl I gave him caused him to become excited instead zonked,
today after changing atleast 5 poop diapers,
and folding four loads of laundry and decorating the Christmas tree and feeding my kids frozen pizza for dinner,
I laid on the floor, on my stomach so my crawling, cruising baby wouldn't punch my stomach or fall on my other sensitive parts I started to drift off and imagine that his pushing and rolling and other movements were that of a masseuse at an expensive spa that doesn't smell like poop and cookies together. In my head I was getting a massage (something I haven't done in years.) Okay so this particular massage was from a drooling masseuse who whined a little and eventually fell asleep on my back but the best part was all I had to tip him was a couple of kisses and a zerbert on the belly. That is how I do it my friends, its all in the delusional mind games I play. The drooling masseuse has an opening tomorrow at 10 AM if anyone would like him to swing by. By the way, I don't recommend trying to give your next masseuse a belly zerbert, I hear they much prefer cash ;)

Fantastic Friday

2008-12-12T14:13:00.001-08:00

How cute are my kiddos? Very, is my biased opinion. This is just a random recent moment but it is getting harder and harder to catch them all together long enough to photograph.

If you are wondering if the relationship between multiples is different than typical siblings I would say yes and no. Yes, they tend to look out for each other in everyway and they want to be together pretty much 24/7 although when my big guy went to hang out with my nephews recently he was in heaven with all the boys around while my girls cried that he was gone and they didn't want him to miss out on anything fun we did like decorating cookies, (which I incidently ate most of.) I assured them that he was having fun of his own and wouldn't miss out. I would say no in that they still fight occasionally but far far less than my siblings and I did as kids. I do have mutliples friends whose kids fight a lot so I can't say for sure if that has anything to do with it. Here are some things they don't have:

Psychic powers

Their own language (well they did make up like two words when they were 3)

Any concept of birth order

Identical DNA (fraternal of course)

Similar gifts and abilities

They are as different as night and day, except they have the same birthday!

Jackaroo on the other hand is totally different than they were as a group or as individuals.

He thinks he is the center of The Universe and rightly so (for now!)

He thinks he lives in a circus (prerry much true.)

He thinks everything his siblings do is hilarious.

He thinks his mom is the bomb.

I am sure he is thinking a few other things and those will be revealed in time. I believe sooner rather than later as he will be talking a little quicker than they did with all the chatter he hears. Still haven't heard a momma out of him but the other day someone reminded me that once he started saying he would never stop so I am okay with him just saying Dada for now!

Have a Fantastic Friday and Merry Christmas! Oh by the way, in order to balance my negative post from the other day, I have a list of things I like at the very bottom of the page, just scroll down if you are so inclined!

Things that bug me

2008-12-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

Well, if you are reading this then you are gonna get what the title says, a list of things that bug me. I just want to give fair warning to anyone that wants to bail out now. Okay, here goes . . .

I am annoyed by rudeness, especially when its by people who don't even know you, like say people who work behind fast food counters or at retail stores. I realize they may not like their jobs but no ones chaining them down there. Find a new job if you don't like it!

Loud-mouths, people who think they know everything or want to top your story no matter what you say, next time you come across one of these types just say "oh yea, well last year I had an ingrown toenail and the dr told me my toe would have to come off" When they start to give you a run down on their last podiatrist visit cut them off and say " yea well my toe nail got infected with that MRSP and the dr only gave me 2 weeks to live . . . in fact, I am over due to expire, if you'll excuse me." As you dash off.

Boring people come in close second but fortunately, I am finding most people really aren't boring. Everyone has a story to tell, something interesting about themselves or their families that makes them unique. Boring people are just not talking about the right things. What is your unique story?, I am sure you already know mine. Yes, I have quads, then comes I have five kids on purpose, after that I would say I went to Australia a few years ago. Followed by my husband was in a movie with Kristi McNichols when he was 12, saved all the money and bought his first car with it. He still gets royalty checks for it which is why we are rich. I am kidding, about the checks, he really was in a movie called Summer of My German Soldier. I love that about him! In fact, he is a very unique and interesting person in regular person clothing. He played football as a walk on for UGA (ok so it was the scout team but still very cool.) He used to write a newspaper column in his hometown, he has written two fiction novels. He was supposed to go into training to be a Navy pilot and then plans changed ( which is lucky for me.) He can turn on a red neck accent in an instant if necessary to deal with people who are put at ease by that. He has three degrees from UGA and is infact a Dr. So cool. Okay this column has turned into my brag about my husband essay? Weird, didn't see that coming.

Sorry!

Back to things that annoy me, I am not a fan of

Bumper stickers (even the funny ones,) Give the stick people a rest already, and by the way, I don't care if your family raises Pygmy goats!

Can't stand stuffed animals in the window, or any kind of hanging lai, air freshener, dice, tassel or Rosary beads (that is not what they are for!)

Yippie dogs that bark too much and weigh less than 2 pounds - just shut up already and take off that stupid sweater!

People who think they are being nice to my autistic daughter but are really just talking to her like she is an idiot or a baby. Believe me, she knows what you are saying and how you are saying it, I believe it annoys her as well. She probably has a higher IQ than you too so there!

People who think they can ask all kinds of personal questions about your fertitlity issues because you have multiples, then they love to fill you in on anyone they know who has had trouble getting pregnant, Do you really think I am interested in your second step cousin's ovarian cysts? Yuck!

People who can't pronounce the word QUADRUPLETS, its not that hard people!

People who are overly interested in or excited by anything like stats for major sports figures, Sci Fi crap, Dungeons and Dragons, (Note: My attachment to Harry Potter does not qualify me in this category, I am immune to my own snobbery.)

Celine Dion - Uck

Mariah Carey - put on some comfortable clothes!

Super models - eat a sandwich please

Celebrities who think they run the world and that their political opinions matter to me anymore than the guy next door's do. You are paid to act, not educate me on why my choice for president is wrong.

People who still drive cars around with Al Gore stickers, you would be surprised how many of those are still out there! Umm excuse me while I remove my McCain Palin cling on.

I hate licorice or anything having anything to do with licorice Good n plentys, and hello vegetables that taste like licorice - fennel, whats that all about.

ohh mushy mealy apples and tomatoes

mosquitos

weather people - I don't know why?

Local TV personalities in general

Steve and Vicky in the morning

Liberals who like to judge everyone and tell them they are wrong for not thinking the way they do.

Ok, I think I will have to continue this tomorrow because I am so very exhausted by my own complaints!

Look for part deux tomorrow!

A bit about everything

2008-12-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

I am not sure where this post will end up but sometimes if I just start writing it seems to end up wrapped around some random central theme eventually so here it goes, this is really a stress reliever for me and an outlet since I can't blab to a husband who is already asleep!
I am currently battling going to the gym vs. baby naptime vs. Christmas shopping. Oh vs. staying home and doing nothing. That one seems to win out a lot. I start thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done at home and after I drop the others off at school I decide to go do it but inevitably the baby will not settle down so we both end up on the couch in front of the TV. He is no longer content to sit in his exersaucer or play on the floor with toys. He wants to crawl away or cruise around looking for things to get into so that makes it all more difficult. I am currently in the market for a playyard!
I can't seem to get any decorating done, though we do have a tree now and it is upright with water and a skirt around it at least but I generally have to do the lights by myself and that is a pain, you have to throw the lights around to the other side and then climb back up the step ladder and arrange them as far as possible without falling onto the tree or floor. Then you have to go back and change out bulbs so you don't have too many of the same color all clumped together (something dad instilled in me.) Then fix the burned out ones. Then hang ornaments that aren't broken, ugly or missing a hook without sticking yourself with the stupid hooks or needles on the tree. Then put something tacky like tinsel or some sparkling garland and finally find a way to put the angel on top. I have never managed to get the angel on top and I bought it 4 years ago. Before that I threw a bow up there over and over until it stuck in the right place. Then I get to vacuum again with a crappy old vacuum that won't pick up but half the needles because it doesn't suck. You can't say a vacuum sucks when its bad so what do you say? Anyway, more watering and vacuuming ensue in the weeks to follow. Oh well, this topic has played itself out and I am bored by my own complaining. Onto other things.
How about what to give as teachers gifts? I have 9 to buy! The thing is, my kids are in the same class! Well 3 of them any way but there are two para pros, two teachers, three speech therapist, an Occupational therapist, a resource teacher and countless special teachers, P.E. etc. I gotta feeling those specials teachers end up with the short end of the stick, everyone probably leaves them out seeing as there are so many of them, music, art etc. Hey I just remembered the art teacher just married one of the gym teachers so they can share right?
I have no idea what to give my husband, I am thinking of putting a note on the tree that says "Go get something at Bass Pro Shop and put it on Your credit card" How sweet is that? I want to be thoughtful and romantic but I just haven't got it in me during this busy time of year. Maybe when the kids are older. I bet millions of moms have that as an excuse for at least a dozen different things over the course of 18 + years. I think that I am successfully unwound now and in the mood for bad TV or bed. Have a good night and I promise the next post will be less random!

To sleep or not to sleep

2008-12-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know that picture has nothing to do with the title but it is a cute picture of 3 of my kids and their cousin, he is my first cousin once removed - I don't know what that makes him to my kids but I bet you are sitting there right now thinking, How does she understand that whole cousin-labeling system? Well I don't really but I did find out a while back that all those little people I thought were my 2nd cousins are really my first once removed's. I read it somewhere.
He is cute, He can drive his parents golf cart and he is not even as old as my kids! This picture is taken at my almost 90 year old granddads "farm" And I add the quotes because he has two cows and two goats but to me that's a farm. Sure smelled like one anyway. Ripe.
So back to the sleeping thing,
I am not getting any. My baby has achieved about 5 milestones this week and sleep is not on his list. He can now stand up and that seems to be more important than sleep, also, he has not figured out how to sit down so you know how that goes. He started clapping, trying to talk a little, blow raspberries, and still likes to nurse at 2:30, 4 and 5 AM.
I am only tolerating this because he is the last one. I am torn between the whole Cry it out- Baby Wise Vs. Co-bedding Dr. Sears attachment parenting thing. IF you don't understand that controversy you can Google it. I won't get into it, I can't take a side, I am on the fence like my kids in the picture - Aaahaa there is the catch and reason for my using that picture!! See how clever I am?
I will say that I did Baby Wise with my quads, had to no choice. The baby who was the hardest to get to sleep and had to cry it out for a week staight is my very best sleeper to this day. She is the only one who stays in bed all night and doesn't come up with excuses to get in mom and dads bed because her nose is running etc. She prays every night that God will give her good dreams and I so hope he hears her on that. What a sweet prayer. What a sweet little girl.
I chose to be more liberal, Freebird, Hemp wearing mamma style with Jack. He is it so I just want to spoil him and I have. Or maybe this is just how singletons act? He is a terrible sleeper. I start him out in his crib after I nurse him to sleep at say 7 or 8. I tip toe out and he does ok until about 11pm then I nurse him again and let him stay in our bed so I can just go to sleep. I might get in a couple of hours but then he wakes at say 2:30 on and off until 6 AM Nothing satisfies him! How many 10 month olds get to nurse 3-4 times a night! I am doing something so wrong. He is not that into babyfood he eats twice a day and he is a big guy, like 25 pounds. And the teeth, the darn teeth they aren't any fun for me, I will leave it at that. Oh well, I haven't gotten enough sleep in over a year and a half. I miss it so. I don't even dream anymore because you have to be out for a certain amount of time for those to occur. It wasn't this bad with the four because they were sleeping through the night by 4 months! Okay, I will try to close on a positive note. I know I will look back on this and laugh one day. I already miss my sweet baby boy, he is turning into a little man right before my eyes. I might even plan his February birthday party someday. Maybe I will ask Santa for a long winter's nap for Christmas. To all a good night (especially me!)